There are words that simply cannot be taken back once they escape, especially when they’re whispered in the dark by someone who’s supposed to love you.
After something her husband said to her during a tender interaction, she’s left with a chilling fear that he harbors genuine contempt for her.
Her story is a harrowing look at the quiet resentment that can poison a relationship, culminating in a single, devastating moment that tore away the illusion of playfulness.
This 28-year-old woman and her 28-year-old husband are close to celebrating two years of marriage, but recently, she hasn’t been able to get over how much they have been arguing.
She and her husband don’t just get into it over major issues; they bicker about little, inconsequential things, too. Several days ago, after one of their freshest fights, she informed her husband that she felt as if he hated her guts, and that’s the first time she’s voiced that opinion to him.
Her husband instantly said sorry to her and reassured her that it was all in her head. He said he loved her and was upset she felt that he disliked her so much.
“Later that same night, we went over to our neighbor’s house to watch the UFC fights. We both had a few drinks while we were there, nothing crazy though,” she explained.
“When we got home, we started being intimate. We’ve always had a playful and good dynamic in that area, and we’re comfortable with each other. We both enjoyed some dirty talk with each other and had been doing it for years.”
“But this time, something felt different. In the middle of us [hooking up], he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, ‘I hate you.’ I froze, thinking surely I must have misheard him. But then he doubled down and said it again.”
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She ordered her husband to quit what he was doing, and then she began screaming at him to get off her. She was so upset that she couldn’t manage to get any words out after that.
She slept in the guest room that evening. The following morning, she and her husband hopped in the car to go to Costco, as they had already planned on doing their shopping.
The drive over there was full of silence and awkwardness. She eventually tried to address the elephant in the room and admitted to her husband that what he said was weird and painful. Her husband waved her away and made her believe that she was being dramatic.
“But this wasn’t the same as what we’ve done before, not even close. Especially because earlier that very day, I told him it felt like he hated me. And then he said those exact words during one of our most vulnerable moments,” she continued.
“By the time we pulled into the Costco parking lot, I was crying. I told him I wasn’t going inside and just sat in the car, trying to process what had happened.”
“I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but I can’t shake how wrong this feels. I keep replaying it in my head and just feel embarrassed and ashamed. The whole situation is so bizarre it doesn’t even feel real.”
Her husband trying to downplay what he said to her as pillow talk is such a cop-out it’s not even funny. If I were her, I would file for divorce.
I think he said what he did on purpose, and he’s fully aware of what he’s doing. Let’s say he doesn’t truly hate her; still, how can she ever feel comfortable with him again after this?
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
