If your spouse forced you to quit your job and take care of their disabled sibling full-time because none of your in-laws wanted to do this, how would you feel?
This 54-year-old woman has been married to her 56-year-old husband for more than 25 years. They have children and grandchildren together.
They have never gotten into enormous arguments or encountered big issues. She characterizes them both as sensible people. Last year, her husband’s dad passed away, and two months ago, he lost his mom.
“He has a sister who is in her 30s and is mentally and physically handicapped. In a wheelchair, can’t talk, can’t eat by herself, can’t use the bathroom, needs help with everything, etc.,” she explained.
“Since his mom passed away, he and his siblings think I should take care of her 24/7…He has three brothers (all have wives) and two sisters (both also married), and none of them wanted to/want to be the ones to take care of her.”
She doesn’t find it fair that her husband’s family members have declined to help at all, and his two sisters argued that they are busy on the weekends, so that’s why they can’t pitch in.
All of her in-laws state that her kids are grown, so she’s free to be a caregiver. The thing is, all of her in-laws have adult children, and the youngest ones are in high school, so that’s a weak reason.
She used to be a stay-at-home mom, and as soon as her kids were older, she got a part-time job at a bakery in their town. She didn’t make loads of money doing it, but she loved it and even got talented at baking. She also got to be friends with her coworkers and the customers.
However, her husband forced her to quit her job so that she could care for his disabled sister. He doesn’t do anything to assist her, as after he gets home from work, he’s too tired to pitch in.
“I know it’s not his sister’s fault, but also it shouldn’t all fall on me. I’ve tried to stand my ground, but his whole family and our kids are also on his side and telling me I’m being selfish,” she concluded.
Well, shame on her mother-in-law and father-in-law for failing to put a plan in place for her husband’s disabled sister. She needs to make it clear to her husband and his siblings that this is not her burden to bear, being a full-time caregiver, and they need to figure it out among themselves.
She also should get her job back, save up her money, and move out while filing for divorce. It’s so cruel of her husband to have forced her to quit her job in the first place to help his sister.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
