Grief has a way of twisting people’s reactions, but it doesn’t give anyone the right to dictate someone else’s love life. Years after a messy divorce, this man found happiness again with someone who knew his ex-wife’s family, his late brother-in-law’s widow. To them, it feels like betrayal. To him and his girlfriend, it feels like a second chance at something real.
Three years ago, this 35-year-old man and his 35-year-old wife went through an ugly divorce following seven years together. Not long after they split up, his ex-wife’s brother died in his sleep from a heart attack. He really did like his ex-wife’s brother, and they were friends, so he attended the funeral.
Seven months ago, he was on a dating app, and he saw his ex-wife’s brother’s wife. He used to be close to her, and she’s absolutely gorgeous and kind-hearted, so he sent her a message.
She got back to him 30 minutes later, and they spent a long time chatting. He then asked her to go on a date with him, and she said yes.
So, he organized their first date at a restaurant, and it went so great that they continued seeing one another. They’re currently officially dating.
“Now she normally doesn’t post anything on social media, but last week we were on our first vacation together in Paris and she posted a story of us together in front of the Eiffel Tower, apparently she still has my ex-wife and in-laws on her social media and she was pissed,” he explained.
“Later that day, she started messaging us, calling us pieces of [trash] for ‘betraying’ her late brother. My girlfriend told her that it’s been 3 years and that she can’t expect her to stay single forever and that nobody except her has any say in her life.”
“I told her the same that I won’t be single too after her, and it’s not any of her business who either of us dates. We told her we loved her brother, but he’s dead, and life moves on.”
His girlfriend began sobbing over this, his ex-wife’s parents accused the two of them of being cheaters, and they ultimately had to block everyone from being able to contact them.
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Two days ago, they returned from Paris, and his ex-wife and her parents dropped by their place to demand that they quit dating one another.
They had to kick everyone out, and there was a lot of screaming involved. They actually had to threaten to call the police!
He’s left wondering if he is wrong to be dating his girlfriend, since, after being attacked like that, he’s worried he is doing something bad.
Both of them are single, both of them are adults, and neither owes his ex-wife or her parents control over their lives. I think the outrage is stemming from unresolved grief and bitterness over the divorce.
If his ex and her family continue harassing them, they should be prepared to involve the police again. At the end of the day, the only people who get a say in this relationship are the two of them, and if they’re happy, that’s what matters.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
