It’s pretty predatory to date someone and wait for them to become invested in the relationship before revealing a life-altering truth.
We all expect a degree of honesty from someone we’re romantically involved with, but if you found out that your partner lied to you about having kids, would you consider that a dealbreaker?
This 19-year-old guy was dating a girl the same age as him, named Samantha, after he was at a party and his cousin introduced them.
He and Samantha instantly hit it off, and it’s important to note here that neither Samantha nor his cousin said anything about Samantha being a mom.
Samantha didn’t disclose that she had kids on their first date, or for the whole two months they spent as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Now, if Samantha or anyone, really, had mentioned kids, he would have turned around at the party and walked far away from Samantha.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate kids! I have nieces and nephews who I love to pieces. I know I’ll have kids in the future, but right now, it’s a pass,” he explained.
“How I found out she had kids is I was meant to be working, but a guy at work asked me to swap shifts with him, and I ended up going to the mall. She was there with her kids.”
“When she saw me, she looked panicked. It didn’t even occur to me [that] they were her kids. I honestly thought she must be babysitting until her toddler cried for my [girlfriend] to pick her up. It finally clicked that she was their mother.”
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He couldn’t believe his eyes, so he left. Samantha called and texted him, but he didn’t pick up or respond. Finally, he demanded to know why she kept her kids a secret from him.
She sobbed over the phone and mentioned she liked him so much that she was afraid her kids would scare her off, before saying she intended to tell him someday about them.
Samantha let him know that the father of her kids had abandoned them all, and he said he was sorry to hear that, before saying they were not going to work out after all.
Samantha cried harder and wanted to know if he was dumping her over the kids, and he didn’t lie to her. He wished Samantha well before hanging up and blocking her from being able to contact him again.
His cousin then showed up at his house, livid with him for what he did. She said that he’s awful for breaking up with Samantha because of the kids.
“I couldn’t get a single word in with all the screaming, and I just shut the door in her face, and when she started banging on my door, I threatened to call the police, and she finally left,” he continued.
“She went to [social media] and family and told them about what I did, and now I got people coming at me in person and on [social media]. It’s all making me second-guess myself.”
Two entire months is quite a long time to hide kids from your partner, and I can’t see the fault in him not wanting to worry about Samantha’s kids.
He’s really young, and dating a single mom at his age is certainly challenging. But more than that, it was wrong of Samantha to keep key information from him. Hiding one is bad enough, but she has more than one!
I’m not sure what Samantha was thinking…get him to fall head over heels in love with her, and then spring her children on him?
Do you think he was wrong to consider kids a dealbreaker?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
