There’s nothing honest or helpful about a partner who tries to make you feel small and then excuses their behavior as being worried about your health.
If your partner critiqued your body and called you fat for eating a burger and French fries, would that be enough for you to break up with them?
For five months, this 25-year-old woman dated her 27-year-old boyfriend, but after he made a rude remark about her body, she dumped him. Many of their mutual friends believe she was being overdramatic, so here she is, out here having second thoughts.
Now, she weighs 160 pounds and is 5’3.” She adores food, baking, cooking, and going out to eat at different restaurants, and she’s not sheepish to admit all of that.
She’s active, healthy, and feels good in her body. For reference, she’s looked the same since her boyfriend met her, so he knew what he was getting into.
“At the beginning of the relationship, he always told me he liked my body and that I was ‘curvy in a good way.’ No red flags there. But over time, little comments started slipping in,” she explained.
“Things like ‘You don’t really need seconds, do you? or Wow, you really love food,’ said with a laugh. I brushed it off at first because I didn’t want to seem overly sensitive.”
“The breaking point happened last week. We were out to dinner, and I ordered a burger and fries. He looked at my plate and said, ‘Not gonna lie, if you keep eating like that, you’re gonna get bigger than you already are.'”
Oh, and he quickly threw in there that he was being honest with her because he cared about her health. But his comments made her feel upset and humiliated.
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She called him out for being mean, which made him get defensive and accuse her of being overly sensitive. She reminded her boyfriend that he’s not her doctor, and she also never asked him to critique her body, which isn’t something for him to control anyway.
Instead of seeing how hurtful he was, her boyfriend argued that he was not interested in dating a girl who intended to let herself go.
“That really stuck with me. I realized that even if he apologized later, this mindset wasn’t going to magically disappear. The next day, I broke up with him,” she continued.
“I told him I don’t want to be with someone who makes me feel self-conscious for enjoying food or existing in my body. He accused me of throwing away a good relationship over ‘one comment.'”
“Now, a couple of friends are saying that five months isn’t that long and that I should’ve just talked it out instead of ending things. But to me, this felt like a glimpse into a future of constant comments and insecurity.”
I would have dumped this guy, too, and it’s great that she recognized such a glaring red flag early on. He has shown her a pattern of behaving in a disrespectful way, and if he’s not into her body, why was he dating her at all?
She shouldn’t be ashamed to eat or do things she enjoys, and it’s time to find a man who will be supportive and not try to tear her down for it.
Do you think she’s wrong for dumping her boyfriend?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
