If you’re a parent of an affair child, at what point in that kid’s life should you tell them that they’re not biologically yours? Is that something you should share with them when they’re old enough to understand, or should you keep it a secret?
This 26-year-old woman was recently told by her dad that she’s the product of an affair, so he’s not actually her dad at all. She’s the baby in their family and has three older siblings.
Apparently, all of her siblings are from her mom and dad, and she’s the only odd one out. Her mom and dad’s marriage is super toxic, and they both have cheated on one another.
“I learned that when my mom was in her early 30s, she had an affair with a 20-year-old man. Which resulted in her being pregnant with me,” she explained.
“My dad found out via a voicemail from her doctor. They both decided to raise me as I was his. Throughout my whole life, my dad has wanted to tell me, but my mom hasn’t. Saying she wanted me to live a normal life, it was never the right time, etc.”
“They also have told my siblings at various times, and my siblings have known for about 10-15 years. My parents’ immediate family members have also known about this my whole life.”
She will always consider her dad her parent, even if they don’t share any genetic material. She’s having a difficult time coming to terms with everyone in her family knowing she’s an affair child, except for her.
She’s struggling with how her loved ones lied to her and kept such an enormous secret at the same time. She wishes her mom was the one to have broken the news to her, not her dad.
She’s pretty sure that her mom would have been happy to have kept that secret from her, which is why her dad finally did something about it.
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I wonder if this all comes down to her mom trying to save face and not wanting to out herself as a cheater, as obviously, that changes how she views her mom.
Her mom was selfish to hide who her dad is from her, and I would understand if she no longer wanted to maintain any sort of relationship with her mom.
It’s also so hurtful that her siblings knew that she wasn’t her dad’s daughter, and they didn’t mention that to her in over a decade of being clued in to the truth.
Her dad does sound like he’s a nice man, so at least she can still be close to one person in her family, since I don’t see how she can forgive everyone else.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
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