Falling in love is a milestone most people celebrate, but for him, it’s not something to be excited about, as he’s in love with none other than his brother’s wife…and he lives with them.
It’s a heavy burden to carry, loving the one person who is definitely off-limits while trying to be a good brother and respectable roommate.
This man is hopelessly in love with his brother’s wife, and he’s known this woman for as long as his brother has. From the minute he met her, he felt an intense, physical attraction that he couldn’t ignore.
Prior to his brother meeting his wife, his love life was a disaster, and every relationship he was in ended up being a dumpster fire. His brother was miserable for a long time after getting involved with women like that, and he was elated when his brother finally found the one.
He’s honestly still happy that his brother landed a woman who’s a total catch. He used to spend a lot of time hanging out with his brother and his wife, and they always had a wonderful time.
“Fortunately and unfortunately, due to life circumstances, I had to move in with them a few years ago. When they had initially reached out and offered to let [me] stay with them for as long as I needed to, although practical, I knew in the back of my mind it would not be a good thing for my mental state.”
“I knew I would fall in love and would have to deal with the emotions and pain of loving someone I cannot have. I didn’t have much of a choice, though, and took them up on their offer as it was the most practical option.”
In the first few years, he lived with his brother and his wife, and it was alright. He didn’t see them much, as he has a demanding job.
But then a couple of things happened, which caused him to see his brother’s wife a lot more. It was no longer possible to avoid her, and it hit him like a ton of bricks one day that he had developed feelings for her.
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She was no longer his brother’s wife, a roommate, or someone he tried so hard to view as a sister to him. This was a woman he was in love with.
“After spending so much 1 on 1 time with her, I fell in love. We’d share intense eye contact (I believe she does this with everyone), do every activity together, like watch movies or go out, and she’d always include me in all of her family events,” he said.
“I already found her beautiful, and spending so much time with her made me realize I love her in a non-platonic way. For a while, I think it might’ve been mutual, but not anymore, and even though I should be relieved it isn’t mutual, it still hurts that I can’t have her.”
“We even got into a couple of fights a few times. Nothing major, and we were able to repair our relationship. I cannot state this enough, but I would never jeopardize my relationship with her or my brother, nor get in [the] way of theirs.
He’s left feeling upset that he can’t shake his feelings for his brother’s wife, but he’s not about to act on them for fear of ruining his bonds with her and his brother.
His brother is his ride or die, and so his plan is to put more space between him and his brother’s wife to help heal from all of this.
He wants to be thoughtful about creating some distance, and he doesn’t want to strain things at home or act in a way that could be considered heartless.
“It HURTS, though, and my brain loves showing me what could’ve been. Felt like I had to get this off my chest, as I’ve been suffering with it for so long. Thank you for reading.”
I think the best thing he can do is hurry up and move out of his brother’s house. Also, he should try dating and see what kind of women are out there for him, as that can help take his mind off the woman he can’t have.
And in the meantime, yes, he needs to pull away from his brother’s wife, even if that makes him appear cold.
What advice do you have for him? Is it actually possible to de-escalate feelings for someone while sharing a kitchen and a living room with them?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
