A proposal is one of those moments you picture your whole life, and when it doesn’t look anything like what you imagined, how you react can surprise even you. She saw her boyfriend get down on one knee and said no in front of his entire family. Now everything is a mess.
For the last three years, this 24-year-old girl has been dating her 27-year-old boyfriend, and this past weekend marked their anniversary.
She and her boyfriend are both parents, as she has a six-year-old daughter and he has a five-year-old son; both children are from their previous relationships.
Her daughter is her whole world, and she’s extremely close to her entire family. She actually still lives at home with her two siblings and her parents since she loves them so much.
Now, to celebrate their anniversary, her boyfriend said they would be taking a weekend getaway to a cabin his family owns. Her parents offered to watch her daughter, and off they went.
They arrived, and she was surprised to see her boyfriend’s whole family was there; her parents, his son, and his sister were all present.
“He told me they were there to have dinner with us, and his mother was making something extravagant (which I believed because she is a chef),” she explained.
“I thought it was something nice he had done for our anniversary. After we ate, no one left, and they all insisted we go out by the lake, which we did, and my boyfriend proposed.”
“I had realized he wanted his family here for this, which upset me because I would have liked my family here for this as well, especially my daughter.”
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She rejected her boyfriend in front of his family and stated that this was not how she pictured getting engaged. She further clarified that she felt hurt by her boyfriend inviting his family, but not hers, to share in the moment.
Her boyfriend insisted that he couldn’t have made the proposal a surprise if her family had been there too, and she replied that he should have picked somewhere else to get down on one knee then.
Her boyfriend’s sister called her “unbelievable” for rejecting him like that, and the discomfort set in as she picked up on how offended her boyfriend was.
Not only that, but his family was furious, so she requested that her boyfriend drive her back home. In the car, they hardly said anything.
“…He tried to push the issue further, and I said I did not want to accept your proposal when you only considered yourself, and that this was my special moment as well,” she continued.
“He said, well, he was the one who went through the trouble of planning it and paying the expenses of the ring. I just apologized again, and it was silent.”
“After we got to my house, I invited him in so we could talk, and he said no, and he said, ‘You know how you said I thought of myself, well that’s what you’re doing.’ I apologized, and he left. I’ve sent multiple apology texts since then, and he has been extremely dry.”
She asked her boyfriend if she could spend time with him today, as they parted ways on Saturday evening and she hasn’t been around him since then, but he brushed her off and said he was too preoccupied with his son.
She’s left feeling sick to her stomach and wondering if she’s a jerk for turning down her boyfriend’s proposal in front of his family.
I don’t think she owes her boyfriend an apology, because he could have easily included her family in the proposal along with his own. It wouldn’t have been so hard to have asked them all to keep the proposal a surprise!
He was being selfish, and that doesn’t set a good tone for their future. I think she should dump him and move on.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
