Is there ever a good time to figure out that your husband is being inappropriate with his coworker? Absolutely not, but being pregnant with his child adds a whole extra level of devastation when uncovering an unfortunate truth like that.
This 28-year-old woman has spent the last six years married to her 29-year-old husband, and they tied the knot following three years of dating.
Currently, she’s pregnant after miscarrying a year ago. Her pregnancy is considered to be high-risk, so she’s been overwrought with emotions.
Then, over the weekend, she was on her husband’s phone and saw that he downloaded Instagram again, but to her knowledge, he never had that app before. She opened up Instagram and noticed that he was following someone new.
“I clicked the profile and saw that he had liked a kissy-face selfie and a full-body photo of hers. I asked him who she was, and he told me she was a coworker (33F). She also has 4 kids and a boyfriend,” she explained.
“Over the next two days, more of the story came out. At work, he asked her why she was so friendly when they first met. She said it was because she thought he was cute, but didn’t act on it since he was married. He admitted he thought she was attractive too.”
“They continued talking. During the conversation, my pregnancy and our marriage were brought up multiple times. At one point, he told her, ‘I’m not leaving my wife, BTW,’ although he hasn’t clarified the full context. At some point, he asked why she was looking at his Instagram and what she was thinking when she saw his pictures. She said something about feeling like a ‘Jezebel.'”
Later on, her husband told her that if she had not seen the messages between him and his coworker, he’s positive they would have gotten physical.
She has talked to her husband’s coworker and requested that she keep things professional with her husband and not speak to him outside of the office.
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Her husband swears he messed up and shouldn’t have gotten involved like that with his coworker. Her husband additionally revealed to her that he feels they have issues in their marriage, yet he hadn’t communicated that to her previously.
“From what I saw, he seemed to lead a lot of the flirting, but she still participated, which hurt me. She also tried to frame it as though she never really had feelings and that family comes first, which felt like avoiding accountability,” she continued.
“My husband insists he wants to fix this and prove he will never do something like this again. In 9 years together, he has never acted like this before. He says he wants our marriage and our family.”
“Right now, I’m choosing to stay, but I’m struggling mentally. This just happened this week, and I keep bringing it up because I’m still hurt and anxious. Every time it comes up, we end up arguing.”
She’s left wondering how she can manage to trust her husband again amid his attraction to his coworker.
What’s most alarming to me is that her husband only decided to tell her he felt they are struggling in their marriage after she uncovered the messages with his coworker, and that’s not cool.
He’s not being a team player or acting like they’re a couple. I think her husband is only sorry that she figured out what he was doing behind her back; he has no remorse for his behavior.
I also believe that what’s not exactly being said on her husband’s behalf is that he totally would have slept with his coworker if she hadn’t intervened.
She can try marriage counseling, but separating from her husband in the meantime, while seeing if he can get it together, sounds like the best choice.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
