TikToker DeAnna (@dayinthelight2) is 27 years old and is in the process of getting divorced from her husband after only being married for three months.
She and her husband got married within a year of dating. He was kind, protective, strong, handsome, and a problem solver. He always took care of her and prayed with her. She really thought that he was the one.
Her soon-to-be ex-husband also had a drinking problem. He constantly claimed that he didn’t have a problem, but there were times when they were dating that he would slip up with his drinking. She never thought much about the few times he had gotten drunk because they only happened on occasion.
About a week before they eloped, their relationship was in a rough patch. He was drinking more, and he was in a bad place mentally. She had to leave work to take care of him.
One day, he suddenly suggested that they should get married. She wanted to get married so badly that she overlooked all the red flags. They bought rings and got married that same day.
Right after they got married, he wanted to get a drink to celebrate, which she thought was odd because he was supposed to be sober. But from that point on, he started drinking every day. He quit his job and didn’t help out around the house at all.
“I was doing all the cooking and cleaning, and I was taking care of him like he was a newborn,” said DeAnna.
“I was a caretaker because he was too drunk to take care of himself. This was really taking a toll on our relationship, on me. I was extremely stressed out. I grew resentful toward him because this is not what I signed up for.”
She felt like she had been tricked because he was not the man she had originally met. The mask he had been wearing finally fell off once they officially tied the knot.
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He stopped caring as soon as they were married. She stood by his side and tried to get him some help. But one day, things really started going downhill.
That day, he was drunk as usual and went outside to talk on the phone. It turned out that he was confessing his feelings to his ex-girlfriend. DeAnna walked outside to confront him.
He seemed a little bothered by the fact that he had upset her, but not enough to really care. He ended up leaving and going to another city with someone to get away.
She blew up his phone, but he wasn’t responding. When he finally returned home, she found out that his ex lived in the same city he had visited.
His behavior kept getting worse, and he was calling his ex more frequently. On Christmas Eve, her family came to visit, and they were supposed to see his family later, but he drank nearly an entire bottle of tequila.
They got into a fight outside after she lured him into the yard with the nearly empty bottle. She then locked him out of the house and told him to leave.
“By this time, my family is walking up to the door,” said DeAnna. “My soon-to-be ex-husband looks me in my face with eyes so dark, I don’t recognize him.”
“It was literally like he was possessed, like something overtook him. It scared me. He looked at me, put both hands around my neck, and was strangling me.”
A family member came out and managed to separate them. She called the police immediately. When he got to jail, he called her, claiming that he didn’t remember putting his hands on her. She refused to bail him out.
One of his family members bailed him out, and he went to stay with them. She was willing to give him another chance because they were married, even though they were now living separately. The deal was for him to go to AA meetings, anger management classes, and individual counseling.
Over time, DeAnna got a gut feeling that their marriage wasn’t going to work out. She recognized that she couldn’t ever feel safe around him again.
On her birthday, she drove over to see him to confirm whether he had been drinking. He was definitely intoxicated and was also acting like he was on something else besides alcohol.
She was uncomfortable, so she tried to leave, but he blocked the door. She backed away, clutching her keys as a weapon. He kept trying to grab her. She was visibly scared and told him that she wanted to leave. He stated, “You’re not leaving here; I’m going to hurt you.”
She jumped up and walked out of the apartment door and into the hallway. He told her that he was joking and tried to coax her back inside, but she knew that if she didn’t get away from him, she would end up dead. She made it safely to her car and drove him. Since then, she hasn’t heard from him. She decided to block him on everything.
“And that was what led me to leave my husband because I’m afraid for my life, and I refuse to be a true crime story,” DeAnna said. “If your husband or your person shows any signs of domestic violence, leave the first time. Even if they apologize and beg on their knees.”
DeAnna has created a fundraiser for assistance in getting herself and her kids out of this toxic situation. If you would like to make a donation, visit her GoFundMe here.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
