The twisted logic some people use in order to justify their control issues can truly be a work of art. Take her boyfriend, for example, who is currently claiming that she should rehome her cat since they need a new one so they can love it equally. If your partner said that to you right before moving in with them, would you have second thoughts?
This 23-year-old girl has spent a bit more than two years with her 24-year-old boyfriend, and they were friends for approximately a year before taking things in a romantic direction.
Lately, they’ve been talking about moving in with one another. Her boyfriend lives on the other side of the country and wants her to move in with him in a couple of months.
Her family is not on board with this plan, so if she does make the move, they will not be offering her any support. She does have a pet cat, and she fully intended to bring her feline with her.
But then her boyfriend told her that she can’t bring her cat; she has to rehome hers. He offered up a weird solution: they can simply get a new cat when she moves into his house.
She actually agreed to do this when her boyfriend first brought it up, but the more she’s thought about it, she doesn’t want to rehome her cat.
“He’s the sweetest. He barely scratches anything. He sleeps all the time. My boyfriend said that he’s not comfortable with me bringing my cat with me, and since he’s never owned a cat, I said that maybe his discomfort is because he’s never had a cat before, and it would be a new experience,” she explained.
“He responded with ‘I spend a lot of time working, and I spent money on my leather couches, and I don’t want the cat to rip up the couch. I may not know what it’s like to own a cat, but you don’t know what it’s like to work for everything you own.'”
“Then he went on about how ‘he’s been your cat, so there would be a level of disparity when it comes to caring about him that would be hard to ignore. You would care for him more than I would, I want us to find a cat we both like and adopt together and love equally because we got him at the same time.'”
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This conversation occurred more than a month ago, and she decided to address it again with her boyfriend earlier in the week.
She stated that she really would like to bring her cat too, and her boyfriend insisted he doesn’t want that to happen. He once more went back to what if her cat ruined his couches or other belongings, or what if her cat failed to bond with him.
Her boyfriend ignores her when she points out how friendly and kind her cat is. He wants absolutely nothing to do with her pet, and she can’t convince him to change his mind.
“I’m so torn. I love my cat, I don’t want to leave him with my parents because I want at least some modicum of familiarity and support to take with him,” she continued.
“My boyfriend is hardheaded, and he said, ‘I’m not saying you aren’t smart, I just think you’re naive about certain things, and I tend to push back on those things even if it isn’t the right thing to do.’ And he’s just honest. He says what comes to mind.”
“But it feels bad, and it feels weird, and my cat isn’t disposable to me, and I don’t think I’m being naive. Is he right about the cat? Is it unfair to him to bring my cat into his house? I feel like I’m being unreasonable about him wanting another adult cat but not my adult cat.”
Her boyfriend is super controlling, and it’s horrible that he thinks her cat is replaceable or disposable, like a piece of home decor. Let’s also talk about how her boyfriend said she doesn’t know what it’s like to have to work for what she owns: that’s disgustingly disrespectful.
This guy sounds awful, and like he is going to bully her into doing his bidding over more than just a pet. She should pick her cat instead of him and dump the guy.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
