Imagine getting dumped eight months before your wedding, only to watch your ex-fiancé take a finding himself detour that leads straight into the arms of another woman.
After nearly six years of building a life together, her groom-to-be suddenly decided he needed to be selfish and called the whole thing off.
The reason? Apparently, he needed to work on himself; a classic line that usually doesn’t involve a new relationship just a few weeks later.
This 30-year-old woman and her 32-year-old ex-fiancé spent five and a half years together, and they were engaged for three of those.
They finally got around to planning their wedding after a long engagement, and they set their wedding date for last July. They had everything organized; the save the dates had been sent out, the venue was booked, and then suddenly, eight months out, she got dumped.
“His main reasoning was that he needed to focus on himself and be ‘selfish for once.’ The confusing part is that he called me the very next day, saying he didn’t actually want to break up and still wanted to marry me,” she explained.
“I told him I needed time, so we took a week apart. After that, we talked again, and he went back to saying he wasn’t ready for marriage and needed to work on himself, so we officially ended things.”
Now, their relationship was anything but toxic. She considered her ex-fiancé her best friend. They never cheated on one another, and they had a ton in common.
She knows he had so much genuine love for her, and she felt the same way about him. Throughout their time spent together, she experienced a number of hardships, such as mental health problems, the loss of her dad, and tackling college while not having a job.
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Her ex-fiancé mentioned that many of those factors ultimately led to his decision to call off the wedding and no longer be with her.
“He also said that we were both ice and ice (meaning we’re both more calm, introverted), he said he needed someone more fire to balance out the fire and ice relationship style,” she added.
“A couple [of] months later (maybe 2–3, possibly sooner), he got into a new relationship. Now he’s already talking about marriage and planning a future with her, which feels completely opposite of what he told me about needing time alone.”
“What really threw me is I just found out he went to Costa Rica, the exact place we were supposed to get married, with his new girlfriend and friends. They went the same weekend our wedding was supposed to happen, and even stayed at the venue/Airbnb we had booked (we had already put a deposit down).”
Oh, and she never got reimbursed for this trip, so it’s like she helped fund a romantic vacation for her ex and his new girlfriend. Yuck.
She feels bewildered, and she can’t understand why her ex-fiancé would insist on being alone, then immediately get into a very serious relationship.
She’s left wondering what this all means.
Well, this has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him, doesn’t it? This does come across like her ex already had this girl in his life and stopped the wedding for his side chick. Otherwise, I can’t make sense of it.
Anyway, he’s obviously moved on, and she needs to do the same thing. Therapy might help her work through the grieving process.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
