If your spouse cheated on you and lied about how far things spiraled out of control, would you still want to be with them after uncovering the truth?
This 33-year-old woman has spent the last five years married to her 34-year-old husband, George. Right around the time they had their wedding, they lost their house and moved into the basement of her grandparents’ house, along with her son, who was five.
During their first year in the basement, everything was fine. She did sadly suffer a miscarriage, and then she got pregnant later in the year.
“After the miscarriage, he was saying he was unhappy, and when I would ask what about, he would just give a general answer of ‘everything’ and move on,” she explained.
“Well, apparently, he was also unhappy with our relationship, which I found out after we had a huge fight. He told me I was selfish in our relationship, and I never cared about his feelings, and so on.”
“I can admit, I may have been neglectful; however, it wasn’t intentional. I was learning how to be in a long-term relationship, and there wasn’t good communication between us at all.”
Not long after their blowout fight, she found out that her husband was cheating on her with a 25-year-old woman named Martha. Her husband had two jobs: a normal 9-to-5, and on the weekends, he was a bouncer at the bar his sister worked at.
It was while working at the bar that her husband met Martha. He began telling her about Martha, which she felt was bizarre, but she didn’t think he had a thing going on with her.
She occasionally went to the bar to hang out while her husband was working, but she never saw Martha interact with him while she was present. She says that should have been a red flag to her in hindsight.
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She eventually found out that George and Martha were being inappropriate after Martha’s friends, of all people, brought this to her attention.
“I confronted him, and he claimed to have stopped talking to her, and I would find out he was lying, and he kept threatening divorce, and so on for 6 months,” she added.
“I reached a breaking point after our son was born. I put my foot down and told him I was going to walk away and be done with the whole thing unless he figured out what he wanted. Me or her.”
“He chose to stay with me, and we worked things out, moved out of my grandparents’ house, and it’s been fantastic ever since. Here’s where I need the advice. George had a procedure done on Monday, and he couldn’t take his phone back with him, so he gave it to me.”
She doesn’t know why she did this, especially since she has the passcode, but she went digging through George’s phone and uncovered the messages archived on Facebook that he exchanged with Martha.
George hasn’t spoken to Martha recently, according to his phone, and he is not friends with Martha on social media. There really has been no contact between them following the affair four years ago.
But while she was spying, she uncovered the truth: George has been lying to her this whole time. He did sleep with Martha even though he promised they never got physical.
“I feel so strange, like kind of satisfied knowing I was right and kind of disgusted because he slept with her and came back to me. Not to mention, throughout this whole affair, we weren’t intimate at all,” she continued.
“He was adamant they weren’t sleeping together; he didn’t want to [hook up] with anyone. I don’t know if I should confront him or just move on since I know the truth now.”
“Please don’t judge. I really do love him, and he’s such an active father to our boys, and he treats me wonderfully, apart from the affair. Help?”
I’m not sure how she is supposed to just move on now that she knows the whole ugly truth, and that George is not only a cheater, but a liar, too.
There is no magically bouncing back from that. How are you supposed to wake up every day and know that the person you’re married to slept with someone else and covered it up?
I think she really needs to ask herself if she wants to remain with George, a man she basically had to beg to be with her and who obviously has no respect for her.
What do you think she should do?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
