Having your parents give you six figures to buy a house must feel like winning the lottery, but if it came alongside a prenup, would you push your spouse to sign it, even if it left them feeling bad?
For the last four years, this 32-year-old woman has been married to her 35-year-old husband, and they’re currently trying to purchase a house in the Bay Area of California, where the average home price is over one million dollars.
Her mom and dad generously offered her and her husband $150,000 to help cover the cost of the down payment on their future home.
But, there’s one catch: her parents are insisting on a postnup in order to release the funds to her and her husband.
“My mom said they want some kind of legal documentation to make sure the money stays with me if something happens. My husband got really quiet when she mentioned it,” she explained.
“I’ve been reading Strangers by Belle Burden about a woman whose husband of 20 years just left her out of nowhere. She thought she knew him completely, and then he became someone she didn’t recognize.”
“It made me think about how you can be with someone for years and still not really know what they’d do if things changed. My parents saw my aunt go through something similar.”
Her husband is extremely offended at the idea of a postnup over the down payment, and he thinks this directly indicates that her parents find him untrustworthy.
Her husband told her that if her mom and dad are not willing to give them the $150,000 with no strings attached, they shouldn’t accept it and instead should worry about saving up their own money.
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“My sister says do what my parents ask since it’s their money. My brother says it’ll cause problems in my marriage if I side with my parents,” she continued.
“I don’t know who’s right here. Am I being naive, or is he being too sensitive??”
I’m siding with her mom and dad on this one, because you never know what can happen, and if she ends up getting a divorce prior to purchasing a house, her husband will be entitled to that money.
But this is complicated, because I do understand why her husband is insulted and views a postnup as threatening to his character.
Maybe it is best for her and her husband to decline the help in order to prevent this from creating a rift in their marriage and family. It certainly will be more difficult, but less messy, to rely on themselves to come up with the cash.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
