If your parents made you miss out on having a childhood so they could afford IVF treatments, would you ever be able to forgive them?
This 17-year-old guy’s parents were unable to have children after they welcomed him into the world, and it’s something they obsessed over for years.
“I remember being 5, 6, 7, 8 years old and being told I couldn’t join any after-school activities because we didn’t have money for anything but basics because they were trying to have another baby,” he explained.
“It was the same every time I got invited to a birthday party, and they said I couldn’t go because of IV saving. Christmas, birthdays, summers for vacations and camps, and other holidays, it was always the same.”
“It was up to my grandparents to buy me toys or other fun stuff, and at some point, that created a rift between them and my parents because my parents said they could instead give money to them to fund IVF.”
After he turned eight, his parents decided to pursue adoption and give up on IVF. Due to fitness and financial reasons, his parents were not approved to adopt.
His parents didn’t have a penny to their names because of how much money they blew on all of those countless IVF treatments they underwent.
His parents were so into the idea of the baby being biologically theirs that they told him that when they did get to adopt a kid, they would keep their adoption a secret.
“It was worse when they looked into fostering to adopt because they were really big on not lying to the kids, and my parents didn’t want a baby older than a few weeks old,” he said.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“During both of those periods, I was easily forgotten. They were so focused on having more kids that they didn’t enjoy being my parents or really parent me.”
He began to spend more and more evenings with his grandparents since his mom and dad no longer spent any time with him. He sought to convey his feelings to his parents, but they ignored him.
They refused to listen when he spoke up, or they would tell him it wasn’t a good time, or they would just fail to let him speak. His parents wasted years trying to get approval to adopt a kid.
Two years ago, it finally happened, and they adopted two children in the same year. He never saw his parents look so overjoyed, and the adoptions meant they had fulfilled their needs and no longer wanted more kids.
“They were happy, and they said our family was complete. I didn’t feel that way, and I resented them, and I resented my siblings,” he added.
“For more than a year, I didn’t even call them my siblings because I was like, they’re not really related to me, and I didn’t ask for this.”
“Then I realized it wasn’t their fault. But still, a part of me does resent them, and I haven’t been able to fall in love with them because I feel so removed from my family.”
His parents wouldn’t recognize the errors of their ways. They made him change diapers, feed the babies, and babysit for them.
They made him take days off work to help them out. A week ago, when he returned home, his parents ambushed him about how he was missing out on quality time with his siblings and blamed it on him being an anguished teen.
He replied to his parents that he didn’t have a family, since he lost them after they became consumed with trying to bring more kids into the picture.
“…I said they missed out on everything, spending years trying to get more kids, and they can’t expect those years not to have ruined our relationship totally,” he continued.
“We ended up fighting, and I told them they robbed me of so much joy in my childhood, and it wasn’t worth it to me. It [angered them] really badly because they only care about their own happiness [and] having the bigger family they wanted.”
He does plan on moving in with his grandparents as soon as he graduates from high school, and he’s left wondering if he was wrong to say what he did to his mom and dad.
He’s lucky he has his grandparents and a solution in place to get himself away from his parents. It’s so sad to me that they wrecked their relationship by not caring about him and being so focused on getting more kids.
I don’t understand how they could ignore him, a child they already had, to chase after kids that didn’t even exist. It was good that he told his parents the truth, even if they can’t accept it. I hope he goes no-contact with them when he leaves their house.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
