Is love all you need to start a family? Well, for anyone who grew up watching their parents struggle to keep the lights on, that sentiment feels less like a Hallmark card and more like a cruel joke.
Kids aren’t cheap, and she’s furious, as well as resentful, over the fact that her parents chose to have children while living in extreme poverty.
This 27-year-old woman is the oldest of three kids, and she has two 25-year-old twin siblings, a sister, and a disabled brother.
Back when her parents gave birth to her, they had just gotten married and were living with her maternal grandparents. She can’t believe they didn’t even try to find their own place before having her.
Not only that, but they had her siblings two years later, which is mind-blowing, in her opinion. After the twins were born, they all relocated to live with her paternal grandparents.
“After I turned 3, we moved into the worst part of the city (literally, gangs lived there, I had a ‘playground’ which consisted only of [a] broken, stolen car). I shared one room with my siblings,” she explained.
“Fast forward, I had to go to primary school, and, shocking, there wasn’t any school around, so we moved into social housing. I shared one room with my siblings almost my whole life.”
“My mom worked illegally as a cleaning lady. I can’t count the times I had to lie to my teachers about the reason why she couldn’t pick me up from school, as her work wasn’t legal.”
Her dad had a job as a police officer. All of her clothing was second-hand, and all the food in their house came from a humanitarian network.
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She knows her parents tried their best, but that didn’t make up for the fact that they lived in extreme poverty, and her childhood was horrible.
She was forced to raise her twin siblings, and she was never allowed to have friends over to have fun. This severely impacted her mental health. Additionally, the cops were called on her dad several times, making things even more stressful.
After she hit 17, her dad got an enormous raise and managed to buy them a house in the suburbs. The problem was that she had to then commute two hours to get to school, which she thought was irresponsible on her mom and dad’s behalf.
She managed to get into college and became the first person in her family to get a bachelor’s degree. College wasn’t a cakewalk, though.
She had to move far away and work in order to be able to afford to pay for it all. Often, she was so broke she couldn’t buy food to feed herself.
“I work full-time in my field, but the housing crisis is crazy, and I can’t even afford to buy a house, and it feels so dumb that I worked so hard for my degree,” she continued.
“I’m 27 now, and my mom has a legal job, my father got another raise, and if they didn’t have debt, they would have a lot of money.”
They started giving [my siblings and me] $233 a month, they go on vacations abroad, can afford a new car, etc. But it doesnt change anything. They never had money when they had kids. Who…decides to have kids without having a place to live or money?”
I don’t think she’s out of line to still be so angry at her parents. It is irresponsible to bring kids into the world when you can’t afford them.
She should really find a therapist to help her work through all of her anger, because that’s not a burden she should keep dragging around with her at her age.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
