If you were the provider in your marriage while your spouse lacked a work ethic and didn’t really care about the debt you had accumulated trying to live a nice life, would you make them finally get a job?
It’s been 15 years now that this man’s wife has been a stay-at-home mom, and he’s been the breadwinner. They have honestly been barely scraping by over the years, and they have accumulated tens of thousands of dollars of debt in order to keep up with their lifestyle.
Despite all of their hardships, he did buy them a house and manage their debt in a way that kept their heads above water. Several years ago, their children grew up and didn’t really need his wife to be so involved with them, given their ages.
So at that point, he had a chat with his wife about getting a job, since it would help them pay off all of their debt. She insisted she couldn’t just have any job; she had to go out and find a career.
His wife ultimately returned to college in order to get a degree, which took four years and $60,000. While his wife does have a job, it’s only part-time, and she’s hardly able to pay her college loans with her income.
“But here’s the rub: two years ago, during her final year of schooling, I received a $2 million inheritance. It’s enough that it generates more money than she can ever make with her degree, but with it came an almost immediate lifestyle upgrade that pushed even THAT to its limit,” he explained.
“Kids are now in private school, our house got a big renovation, her mom got a new condo, and the wife got a brand new car. So I’m still stressed about money. And now her part-time job is offering full-time employment at twice the salary.”
“It’ll pay for the private schools and then some. It’s a huge weight off my shoulders, but she didn’t want to work full-time. She wants to enjoy the money. I got angry at this and basically laid out our current spend rate and blamed her for a lot of it and insinuated that she needs to start pulling her weight.”
His wife contemptuously accepted the job, as he said sorry for not having done more to appreciate her household contributions as a stay-at-home mom, hoping that would smooth things over.
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However, ever since his wife has been forced to work full-time, she’s been doing nothing but whining and protesting. She makes nasty remarks about how there are other moms who work just 32 hours a week, and it’s his fault that they can’t go on vacation this summer since their work schedules don’t align.
He doesn’t feel bad for his wife, because he can’t carry the weight of funding their family alone anymore. He and his wife are currently speaking to one another like they’re already divorced and navigating their kids instead of acting like a married couple.
“Should I feel sorry for her? Should I rebalance the budget and try to get by with her only working 20 hours a week?” he wondered.
His wife is spoiled, entitled, and lacks initiative. He really should have called in a financial advisor when he got his inheritance instead of allowing his wife to spend it on frivolous things.
He still should find a financial advisor, because this mess is pretty big, and he needs help cleaning it up. They are really living above their means, so his wife has to work while they figure out how to cut their expenses down.
And he has to stop being a doormat.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
