It’s really difficult to deal with monster kids and parents who won’t deal with their bad behavior. How would you feel if you were dating someone who allowed their kid to hit and kick people without correcting them?
This woman is in a relationship with a man who has a daughter from a previous relationship, and they also share a baby. She’s been doing her best to accommodate their blended family, but the resentment inside of her is only growing.
“My stepdaughter has a pattern of aggressive behavior; hitting, kicking, screaming at people, throwing things, and generally acting out physically when she doesn’t get her way,” she explained.
“I understand kids have emotional struggles, and I’m not expecting perfection, but what bothers me is that there are basically no consequences for it.”
“If she hits someone, the response is usually excuses, distraction, or everyone just moving on like nothing happened. I’ve tried bringing it up calmly and saying that I think there should be some kind of accountability or boundaries so she learns that hurting people isn’t okay.”
She isn’t trying to come up with cruel penalties; she thinks this girl’s behavior can be curbed with consistent and normal parenting tactics.
When she does attempt to address the behavior with her boyfriend, he snaps at her that she’s not entitled to having a say since his daughter isn’t biologically related to her.
Her boyfriend thinks she shouldn’t utter a word about how he’s choosing to parent his own kid, and he always shuts her down when she voices an opinion.
“Here’s where my frustration really comes in: I’m the one financially supporting almost everything. I help support our household, our baby, and honestly, a lot of the expenses connected to his situation too,” she continued.

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“Meanwhile, I get little to no practical, emotional, or financial support from him or his family. So I feel stuck in this position where I’m expected to help carry the weight of everything, but I’m apparently not allowed to have an opinion about behavior that directly affects the home and people living in it.”
“I also worry because we now have a baby in the house, and I don’t think aggression should just be ignored around younger children. My partner thinks I’m overstepping and being unfair to his daughter. I think it’s unfair to expect me to live with ongoing aggression while being told I’m not allowed to speak on it at all.”
Sounds to me like she needs a new boyfriend, since he’s not willing to make his daughter act like a civilized citizen. And the fact that he’s getting rude with her for expecting his kid to behave is not acceptable.
Also, since he’s not helping her out with money or childcare, why stay?
What advice do you have for her?
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