If you get dumped by someone, do you think it’s fair for them to then get angry after you move on and find a new romantic interest?
This 39-year-old man spent 15 long years with his 40-year-old girlfriend. They were basically married, although she didn’t like the idea of actually tying the knot.
Their relationship was one big adventure that involved lots of pets and various countries. He even adopted a dog in another country after the pup followed them along on a hike.
He and his girlfriend both worked as very successful doctors, and they were a family. But in the last few years of their relationship, things declined.
They stopped having a physical romance. Their dog got sick and had to be flown to another state for several surgeries. Their cat then got ill and had he had to hop on a plane to get him medication to save his life.
Next, the hospital where they worked fell apart, so he and his girlfriend were forced to find new jobs elsewhere. He had to go to rehab following all of that, since he developed a drinking problem.
“We moved within our state, but she broke up with me prior to it. Said I was selfish and that she thought we were incompatible. Said that she didn’t feel like we were working towards anything together in the future,” he explained.
“When I asked her what she wants to work towards in life, she didn’t know. She said she wants to go our separate ways. She did not go her separate way when we moved. She wanted to keep hanging out as friends and do stuff together.”
“I had some talks with her about maybe giving us another chance, but she said she didn’t see a future with us. I asked about couples therapy, and she was open to it, but said it was probably too little too late.”
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She dumped him nine months ago. He has since met a new girl, and they have gone out on a couple of dates. He likes this girl a lot, and everything between them is going well.
His now ex-girlfriend discovered that he has a new love interest, and she’s furious. She actually accused him of never having real feelings for her since she thinks he moved on far too easily.
But the thing is, it was hard on him, and he told her as much. Remember, he was trying to do everything possible to save their relationship when she was the one who wanted to throw it all away.
“I still love her. I will not hurt this new girl because she seems like a good person. [I] just don’t know how to proceed,” he concluded.
It sounds to me like his ex is jealous that he found another girl, and maybe she wants him back, but is too egotistical to admit that to him.
If she does ask for a second chance, he shouldn’t give it to her. He wasted 15 years of his life on someone who literally said she doesn’t picture a future with him in it, and that’s not something you can overcome.
He needs to cut contact with his ex so he can be free to move on, because she’s holding him back from that and playing with his emotions in the process.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
