I think the worst affairs are the ones where someone is waiting around to find out if their spouse is going to pick them or the affair partner.
Would you ever wait to see if your spouse picked you, or would you be filing for divorce and not wasting any more of your time on a person who can’t make you a priority?
It was only 21 days ago that this woman uncovered her husband’s affair, so it’s still a fresh wound to her. The woman her husband has been cheating on her with is a friend of both of theirs.
A year ago, her husband and his affair partner began exchanging steamy messages, and six months ago, it grew into a physical relationship.
“[It] was also heavily emotional, telling each other they loved each other, writing love letters, secret gifts, everything. When I first found out, he said he would cut her out, which lasted a week,” she explained.
“He then contacted her again to say he was confused and having second thoughts. I found these messages and confronted him again. He is struggling to let her go, even considering leaving me to go start a life with her.”
“He says he loves me, and the thought of leaving me hurts him, but he also says his feelings for her were so intense that he feels it must mean something. He also feels what he did to me was so awful that it must mean something that he did that.”
Her husband is supposed to see a therapist this week, and she’s hoping this will greatly help him. But in the meantime, she’s wondering how she can manage to work through this when her husband is still so hung up on his affair partner and not over this woman at all.
I’m not sure how she can feel safe or learn to trust her husband again when he’s literally telling her he might just leave her to go be with his affair partner.
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To me, this marriage is doomed if her husband isn’t showing any remorse or doing anything to prove he still wants to be with her.
I don’t think she should wait around with bated breath, hoping therapy magically fixes her husband. I can’t imagine a greater nightmare than having to wake up every day, not knowing if your spouse is going to stay with you or leave to be with the person they cheated on you with.
She should do herself a favor and file for divorce so she doesn’t have to play this cruel game. She already has all the answers that she needs.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
