There are so many opinions out there when it comes to sharing the expenses of dates and being in a committed relationship with someone.
So how would you feel if your significant other said you had to start paying for some of your dinner dates because they didn’t want to keep footing the bills alone?
This 34-year-old woman has a 32-year-old boyfriend, and they have been official for the last two months. One month into their relationship, on their fifth date, her boyfriend asked her out of the blue to pay for their dinner that evening.
“Before that, we had been to a few bars where he generously paid, so at the time, I didn’t think much of it and just paid for the dinner,” she explained.
“However, a pattern has started. Now, about once every five dates, he will explicitly tell me before the date: ‘Hey, you’re paying for dinner today.'”
Now, she has never once offered to pay or split the bill with her boyfriend, leading up to the night he requested that she throw down her credit card.
She doesn’t exactly have a problem with treating her boyfriend to dinner, but she really thinks that it’s unfair of him to expect her to pay for some of their dates.
“If we were at the restaurant and I naturally said, ‘Hey, you’ve been paying a lot lately, let me get this one!’ I would feel completely fine and happy to do so,” she said.
“But being demanded to pay the full amount beforehand feels transactional, and honestly, it’s making me feel a bit uncomfortable and confused.”
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“Has anyone experienced something similar? How would you feel if you were in my shoes? Also, for those who are around the 2-month mark in a relationship, how do you usually split or handle dating expenses?”
It’s evident that her boyfriend is sick of paying for everything, so this is his way of changing the dynamic. I honestly don’t blame him.
Going out to dinner is expensive, and she’s pretty much freeloading. She absolutely should not have a problem with paying for every fifth dinner that they’re eating out at a restaurant.
I actually think her boyfriend is being more than fair to her, as well as generous, for not asking her to chip in for the costs of more of their dates.
I don’t really understand why she’s so upset and puzzled. It’s rare to find a man who’s happy to pay for everything in your life, including every meal you eat out.
She really should have offered to pay in the past, so that her boyfriend wouldn’t have had to be so direct about her helping with the costs. I don’t think she has a right to complain here.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
