If your partner gave you an ultimatum and said you had to sell your home to prove your commitment to them, or they’re dumping you, what would you pick? Your partner, or your house?
For the last five years, this 30-year-old woman has been dating her 31-year-old boyfriend. Two and a half years ago, he moved into her house and rented his out.
Recently, her boyfriend’s tenants moved out, and so he put his house up for sale. Her boyfriend has told her all along that he’s not interested in buying a home with her unless they get married.
But then he changed his mind and informed her that he’s not willing to take the next step in their relationship, such as getting engaged or having a kid (he said last week he’s not positive about kids, but she wants them), unless they move into a brand-new house.
“For context, we live in a 3-bedroom detached home with a garage, a south-facing garden, and a double drive that I fully renovated,” she explained.
“He has said that he can’t say he wants a child with me because he’s not comfortable in my home, and basically, I need to choose the house or him. How is this fair? I have a 13-year-old son, and security for him is my number one.”
“Yes, I want to have a child with him, yes, I want to get engaged, but why should he only want these things if I sell my home? He wants to buy a house together, which is lovely, but if we buy a home together and then he still doesn’t want marriage or a child, then what?”
That will mean she gave up a house that she adores and worked her heart out to have in exchange for nothing. Her boyfriend has given her a deadline of deciding by Sunday, or he’s dumping her.
He even said to her that he’s going to get married by the time he’s 35, whether they are still together or not, and he told her to ask herself if she wants to be that girl.
I can’t even believe she’s wondering what to do here. She should not hesitate to pick her house over her boyfriend. Giving up a home that she owns will destabilize her life and her son’s, too. Why do that? She should only sell her house if they’re married, full stop.
Her boyfriend is basically telling her that she is replaceable, on top of demanding that she get rid of her house, which is also alarming.
She should pack his stuff in boxes, put them on the front lawn on Sunday morning, and tell this man to take a hike.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
