If you went on a few dates with someone who then said in order to keep seeing them, you had to get physical, would you feel pressured?
This girl went out on four pretty amazing dates with a guy who seemed to be quite nice to her. There was an instant connection, they had a lot of moving discussions, and they made out a ton.
“On the 3rd date, he asked if I wanted to sleep over at his house. I declined, which he respected. The fourth date, he tried escalating things at his house, but I said I wanted to take things slow,” she explained.
“We did some [things], and then I went home. When he asked me on a 5th date, I told him I’d love to, but I want to get to know him better and talk more instead of doing physical things.”
“He said a ‘talk-only-date’ wouldn’t work for him moving forward. I told him if that’s the case, then we should stop dating because I’m looking for someone who’ll respect my pace and boundaries.”
He then requested that they talk on the phone, which they did for more than an hour. This guy said he felt quite sad, as he really did have feelings for her, but clarified that a physical romance is extremely important to him.
She replied that’s not something she can give him right away, and pushing her into being romantic is not making the situation better. He wanted to know if she had commitment issues or a tragic past, and she mentioned they were clearly different people.
They agreed to stop seeing one another before hanging up. This chat happened a couple of days ago, and she can’t quit thinking about it.
“We clicked really well. Why would he end it over not getting [to hook up]? And should I message him? Because it did feel like I was ready, I just didn’t like how he phrased the ‘talk only date’ thing, felt a bit manipulative,” she continued.
She’s left wondering if maybe she should message him.
No, no, no, she should not contact him again, because he’s clearly only out for one thing, and I don’t think I have to spell it out further than that.
Nobody should pressure you to do anything on a date, and if they do, they’re not the one for you. They are just not compatible, and that’s ok. She shouldn’t rush her own timeline of what she’s comfortable with for the sake of making a guy happy or hanging onto him.
Moving forward, she should trust her intuition and stick to her boundaries.
What do you think she should do?
You can read the original post below.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
