Few things feel worse than being excluded from something by your close friends. How would you feel if one of your good friends suddenly stopped inviting you to milestone events like their wedding or birthday?
One woman is at a loss for what to do after a couple she was very close to stopped inviting her to big events.
She met her 29-year-old friend, Jane, while they were both studying abroad during their college years.
After their trip and college graduation, they still managed to stay in touch. Over the years, she met Jane’s boyfriend, Bob, who is now her husband.
“Bob and Jane decided to move to my city right before COVID, so during lockdown, we were in each other’s bubbles,” she explained.
“We’ve celebrated each other’s birthdays, we’ve had Friendsgiving [and] Christmas parties together, etc.”
In August 2021, Jane and Bob got engaged. She worked hard to throw them a nice engagement party.
One of the gifts she gave Jane was a wine glass that said “wedding planning wine glass on it,” and Jane would send her a picture of her using the glass frequently.
Then in March 2022, she helped Jane plan and throw a birthday party for Bob. Then suddenly, she stopped hearing from them. When Jane’s birthday rolled around that year, she wasn’t told about any festivities.
“I had texted Bob asking what the plan was, and he told me they were going out of the state for her birthday,” she recalled.
“However, on Instagram, I [saw] them posting pictures of them renting a cabin with some friends, so I felt awkward.”
Then, she discovered she wasn’t invited to Jane’s bachelorette party. She tried to brush that one off because Jane had a lot of childhood friends that were there.
As the year passed, Jane or Bob didn’t reach out to her for her birthday, and she hardly heard from them.
But then, she wasn’t invited to Jane and Bob’s wedding.
The wedding happened this May, and she saw that it was a big wedding that appeared to have around 200 guests. Unfortunately, she wasn’t one of them and couldn’t figure out why.
“I’m noticing that if I don’t reach out to either of them, they don’t reach out to me at all,” she said.
“Now Bob has reached out and asked me to plan Jane’s birthday party cause he says I’m the best at planning these things.”
She told Bob she was hurt after not being invited to their wedding, and he told her not to make a “big deal” out of it because they had limited space that day. He then tried reassuring her that he and Jane wanted her at Jane’s party.
After everything Bob and Jane have done to her, she doesn’t feel a desire to be friends with them anymore.
Deep down, she wants to tell Bob she won’t be attending or helping him plan Jane’s party, but she wonders if that would make her seem petty.
Should she reconnect with Jane and Bob, or are they not worth it?
Have you ever been excluded from a wedding? Email us at stories@chipchick.com to tell us about your experience.
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