Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you can knock some sense into them when they’re about to make an atrocious decision that will negatively impact their life, and it can be difficult to stand by and witness everything fall apart.
This woman has a best friend, and sadly, she has a front row seat to her bestie ruining her life. Or rather, she says what her best friend did was essentially waltz into a prison dressed up to be something far better, and it’s preventing her from falling asleep at night, she’s that worried about her best friend.
Now, her best friend was in a long-distance relationship with a man for eight long years. For three years, her best friend’s boyfriend was secretly having an affair with a woman, and her best friend was under the impression that they were simply roommates and not romantically involved.
“The other woman knew about my friend the entire time. Eventually, she wanted to come clean. The boyfriend’s first response was, ‘Everyone has dark secrets; we can keep this one,'” she explained.
“When she insisted, he agreed to tell, but only under strict rules: he’d do it alone, in person, with no one else involved. The other woman agreed. Instead of confessing, he went home, proposed to my friend, and planned their entire wedding, hiding all of it from the other woman.”
“They’ve even admitted that they felt ‘out of control’ around each other and that they always ‘put themselves first.’ He went back to her city and continued their intimate relationship until just two months before his wedding day.”
This other woman had a mutual connection who told her about the engagement, and she set about bringing the truth to light by reaching out to her!
She then confronted her best friend’s boyfriend, and he lied to her face and came up with some insane stories before attempting to switch the topic of conversation to something else entirely.
She did this all over the phone and added the other woman to the phone call, and only then did he confess that yes, he had an affair and kept it hidden for years.
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She then forced her best friend’s boyfriend to admit what he had done to her best friend, which devastated her. Her best friend’s boyfriend is a master manipulator who pleaded for forgiveness, promised to change his ways, and ultimately got another chance he didn’t deserve.
“My friend, in her devastation, agreed. They are now married. I am left with so much anger and confusion. Can she possibly be happy?” she wondered.
“Or is she just in survival mode, clinging to the life she thought she had because calling off a major wedding felt impossible? Why did she absorb all this pain?”
She can’t understand why her best friend continued to marry this guy after he stabbed her in the back like that. This man suffered no consequences and got a wife out of his cheating.
She’s not convinced he can change, but she hopes for her best friend’s sake that he somehow can manage to pull that off. It has occurred to her that perhaps her best friend’s new husband will just get better and more talented at lying to her best friend, since he didn’t learn any lessons.
He wasn’t held accountable for lying or cheating, and she hates having to stand by and watch her best friend sign herself up for a lifetime of heartbreak.
“I feel like I’m watching my friend willingly drink poison because she’s too thirsty to look for water. I love her, but supporting her ‘choice’ feels like being complicit in her destruction,” she concluded.
This is exactly what I was talking about: sometimes all you can really do is stand by and wait for someone you love to realize the mistake they’ve made.
Then, when they do, you help them pick up the pieces and give them a shoulder to cry on. I highly doubt her best friend’s husband will morph magically into an upstanding guy, and if he got away with cheating on her once, I’m convinced he will do it again.
Hopefully, her best friend won’t put up with it the next time it happens.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
