We all know that “comparison is the thief of joy,” but what happens when the person you’re comparing yourself to is lying about the blueprint they used to get their results?
After a secret mommy makeover gave his wife her pre-baby body back, he was happy to play along with the ruse until it started hurting people. Is dismantling a dangerous false standard always the right thing to do, or is a spouse’s medical history strictly off-limits, even in the face of a lie?
This man and his wife have a one-year-old, and his wife had a really hard time with her body image after giving birth to their son. Three months ago, his wife got liposuction in order to improve her confidence.
His wife was extremely miserable, and he was supportive of the cosmetic surgery, as he was down for anything that would help his wife regain her self-esteem.
Pretty much it’s just him and his wife who know that she got lipo, and it’s been their little secret. His wife allowed all of their loved ones to think she instantly got her body back in a natural way.
“I went along with that because it didn’t involve anyone else’s feelings up until this happened. Last weekend, we were chilling with some friends,” he explained.
“One of the couples has a baby too, who was born around 6 months ago. The mom has also been having a hard time with her postpartum body and was clearly insecure.”
“She started comparing herself to my wife and asking her how she looks so thin already, what her routine is, what she eats, how often she works out, etc.”
His wife launched into a lecture about her very specific exercise routine and diet, while giving this woman a bunch of advice. His wife told their friend that she had to refrain from eating some foods, make sure to do YouTube workouts, and stick to being disciplined.
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So, his wife was spewing nonsense that she doesn’t even subscribe to. He obviously knew his wife was talking a big game, making it seem like she adhered to exactly what she said to their friend.
Their friend looked crushed to find out that it’s not magically easy to bounce back to the body you had prior to giving birth. But their friend did take notes and promised to try all the things his wife outlined to her.
“I felt like my wife was setting her up to feel worse about herself if those things didn’t work, because it’s not the truth. I pulled her aside and said do you wanna tell her what you actually had done, or should I? So she told the girl about the mommy makeover and apologized,” he continued.
“She was understanding about it, sworn to secrecy, and didn’t judge her. When we got home, I was cursed out and booted to sleep on the couch. She said I had no right to force her into disclosing medical info and exposing one of her biggest insecurities.”
“I get that, but it also wasn’t fair to deceive someone who’s obviously struggling and make it seem like she just might not be trying hard enough. It creates a false standard and can mess with people’s heads.”
He’s left wondering if he was wrong to force his wife to confess to having lipo.
I think failing to disclose something isn’t a problem, but lying about how you achieved something is. His wife lied; she didn’t just keep her lipo hidden, so he was right to make his wife tell the truth about why she looks so good after having a baby.
It’s not cool to lecture someone about diet and exercise when you didn’t do that in order to lose weight. Also, his wife isn’t a good friend, because if she was, she would have been honest from the start about what she did to get the results she has.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
