If your sibling wrecked their marriage with infidelity, would you automatically stop being friends with their former spouse? Is family loyalty important, even if you can’t support what your sibling did?
This woman’s brother is to blame for his first marriage going down in flames. He actually has admitted that he grew bored with his wife and felt exhausted from having to be a dad and a husband, because those roles are a lot of work.
“He told some awful lies, including the fact he was depressed…and pretended to see a therapist when he was really sleeping with other women,” she explained.
“He quit his job and blamed it on that, while laughing about it with his friends, and there were texts as proof. And he shamed his ex-wife for ever struggling herself, saying that he was going through so much and she was going to push him over the edge.”
“One of his friends eventually felt guilty about how far he took it and told former SIL and my family. She left him, and he tried to turn everyone against her. I stuck by her and was disgusted by all the things my brother had done.”
While their whole family was angry at her brother, they claimed he couldn’t be cut out, since he is related to them. She doesn’t agree with her former sister-in-law allowing her brother to see his kids every other weekend, given his behavior.
Following the divorce, she’s remained great friends with her former sister-in-law, and she invites her to all of the parties and dinners she hosts.
Her former sister-in-law invites her to come to the birthday parties for her kids, and they routinely go out for lunch. They do spend a lot of time together, and meanwhile, she only sees her brother when they attend the same family events.
Her brother got married again a couple of months ago, and his new wife is furious with her for being so inclusive of her former sister-in-law.
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Her brother’s new wife is extra twisted over her former sister-in-law coming to all the parties and dinners that she has, as she finds it disrespectful.
Her brother’s new wife and her former sister-in-law have had disagreements over the children, and so that’s not exactly helping things either.
“His new wife feels very entitled to be more involved with the kids and has shamed my former SIL for keeping his contact with the kids to a minimum,” she continued.
“Some of my family members have asked me if I’m really going to let a friendship with [my] former SIL come between the family, and they asked how this is good for my niece and nephews.”
“I told them showing support to the only good parent they have and the person who has done all she can to protect them is better than standing by the person who lied so he wouldn’t have to lift a finger for them.”
Oh, and her brother’s new wife is privy to what her brother did to her former sister-in-law, so she knows just what kind of man he is.
She’s left wondering if she’s wrong for wanting her former sister-in-law around so much.
I think it’s wonderful that she still has such a great bond with her former sister-in-law, and her family really doesn’t have any values for being blindly supportive of her brother, do they?
Her former sister-in-law sounds like the only family member she has that’s worth keeping. Just because you are blood-related to someone doesn’t mean you automatically owe them your loyalty.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
