How would you feel if your spouse cheated on you, but said they were giving you a slim chance of staying married? Would you beat them to filing the divorce paperwork, or stick around to see how things played out?
This 26-year-old woman has spent the last seven years married to her 29-year-old husband. Her husband has a job as a military recruiter, and within the last two months, he has fallen hopelessly in love with one of his recruits, a 20-year-old girl.
She uncovered her husband’s affair after going through the messages on his watch. He’s been pulling away from her, and she could tell deep down that something was going on.
Her husband deleted all of the messages on his phone, but his watch hadn’t yet updated, so she was able to find the evidence on that device.
“He says that he doesn’t know how it happened. He doesn’t know when he became unhappy, but realized that he hasn’t been happy for a while and that she makes him happy,” she explained.
“They haven’t [slept together], have only kissed, and have just been talking on the phone. Only met up 2-3x. He says that while he is firm in his decision, he says there may be a chance that he’d want to work it out. But doesn’t want to say for sure to not give me false hope.”
“I know I should be angry, I should report him and her to his command. I want to be angry, but I don’t know how. He said that he has accepted that I could report him and will face the consequences, but has asked me not to report her…Despite this, I love him.”
She figured everything in their marriage was fine, especially since her husband has been cheating on her while they were shopping for things for the new house that they bought in November, and also planning to have a baby.
She did let her husband know that she’s going to be the one to call the shots on when they file for divorce, as she needs time to gather her thoughts.
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Her life has been turned inside out, and she’s trying to sort out what to do when their marriage is officially finished. She only wanted her husband and their plans in life.
Sure, she and her husband have argued as every healthy couple does, but so many of her most amazing memories are with him and his loved ones.
She even selected her career around what he does for a living so she could accompany him no matter where he ended up being stationed.
“We are being amicable [right now]. Living in our house, sleeping together in our bed. Planning stuff still. He seems lighter now that he’s told me the truth,” she continued.
“He’s still present enough that I can feel his care for me. He says he still loves me, but not like he used to. That he misses her but doesn’t miss me in that sense.”
“I’m so lost. How do I let go? Is it worth trying? I know what can be done to fix our problems. I know how we can be happy, but he doesn’t see it [at the moment]. I really just need guidance on this whole matter.”
She needs to find her self-respect, stop sleeping in the same bed with him, and hurry up and get that divorce. It’s ludicrous to me that they’re even still sleeping in the same bed at all.
It’s also so many levels of cruel for her husband to tell her he might want to work things out and stay in their marriage, because that’s just stringing her along.
If she doesn’t want to go scorched earth and report him for abusing his power, ok, but she really has to get out of that house and far away from him.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
