How would you feel if you dreamed of being a dad, then found out that your wife lied to you about your baby being yours, since the father was her affair partner?
This 40-year-old man spent nearly five years married to his 36-year-old wife, who was emotionally abusive, but he held out hope that one day, she would change.
Well, then she ended up cheating on him and got pregnant from said affair partner. Next, his wife passed her affair child off as his own kid.
“I found out the truth by demanding a paternity test. At this point, the kid was 5 months old, and until that point, I had raised him as my own son,” he explained.
He and his wife got separated eight months ago and have hardly spoken to one another, aside from practically talking about dividing up all of their assets.
He needs to wait another four months prior to filing for divorce, as where they live in Australia makes you spend 12 months separated as a requirement for a divorce.
“Now the thing is, I have always loved kids, and always wanted to be a dad. I know it was only 5 months, but I am just not able to emotionally disconnect from the kid,” he added.
“I have been going through therapy, and I know these things take time, but the pain is just too intense. I often wish that whatever happened was just a bad dream, but it obviously is not.”
“Adoption, especially as a single man, is next to impossible legally in my country. And at my age, even hypothetically if I were to partner up again, it most likely would be with someone around my age, which means the chances of having a kid are pretty low.”
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He feels that if he had figured out his wife was cheating on him early on and then pursued a separation, it would have been better for him.
He’s struggling with his wife’s infidelity, along with how she lied to his face about him being a dad to a child for five entire months.
The thing is, he thinks about this child nonstop, who had his last name, though he’s not sure if his wife has changed it by now or not.
“I have been to support groups and stuff, but they only helped temporarily. I’d really appreciate some suggestions or advice on how I could possibly get over this and accept that me being a dad will just remain a pipe dream,” he concluded.
I think if he gets back out into the dating world and is very upfront about his timeline for having children, there is absolutely a chance he could find a woman to settle down with and have that family he desires.
He’s getting worried without even putting himself out there, and that’s doing himself a disservice.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
