Her Son Is Dating A Girl Who Is Developmentally Challenged, So She’s Planning To Confront Him

“She doesn’t have Down syndrome, but when my husband and I first met her, it was very apparent when she spoke. Later, we asked my son if she was challenged he said yes,” she explained.

“He doesn’t know more about her condition other than that. He said she has dated other guys in the past. She is very high functioning, but I believe she is on disability. I just am not sure how to feel about it.”

“My kid is respectful of women, and I don’t believe he feels he is taking advantage of her. But is he? She is a nice person, and if this kind of thing is normal, then I would like to educate myself more about it, but I currently feel uncomfortable about it.”

Her son has also shared that his girlfriend cannot be left alone without someone else there with her, which really threw up a red flag for her.

She’s wondering if she would be a jerk to confront her son and tell him she’s uneasy about the girl he’s in a relationship with. She’s not trying to be offensive, but she’s never been in a dilemma like this, and she’s clueless about the best way to proceed.

To provide more context, she’s really concerned about this girl’s capacity for consent, and she’s not sure if it’s rude to have a conversation with her son and his girlfriend about this topic.

There are so many reasons why her son’s girlfriend could be classified as developmentally challenged, and it might come down to something that happened to her as an adult; she may not have been born this way.

She could have had a stroke, or she could have epilepsy or cerebral palsy; those things could impact her speech, but not her development. She could also be deaf, which causes speech impairments.

Maybe her son’s girlfriend can’t be left alone because her parents worry about her too much. I think she is jumping to conclusions, and I understand she’s worried, but she is being judgmental at the end of the day.

Her son’s relationship isn’t unethical, unless his girlfriend has the mental capacity of a child, which doesn’t seem to be the case, as she herself characterized this girl as very high functioning.

However, she can clarify that with her son to put her mind at ease (but she should not embarrass his girlfriend and talk to both of them). She should also organize a dinner to meet the parents of her son’s girlfriend, because maybe that will help her feel better, too.

She said it herself; she raised a respectful man, and I think she’s just not being open-minded. She should be proud that her son doesn’t view people with disabilities as less than, and take a page out of his book.

What advice do you have for her?

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