Would you still be interested in staying married to your spouse after finding out that they lied to you and went on a date with someone else behind your back?
It was a decade ago that this woman met her husband on a dating app. Obviously, they hit it off, got married, moved to a different state, and had a baby a bit more than a month ago.
She has PCOS, so she had a hard time getting pregnant for years, and they underwent several fertility treatments. She did one round of IVF that sadly ended in a miscarriage, and four months later, she naturally got pregnant.
One week after giving birth, she was documenting her postpartum recovery on social media when she got an insane message from a girl.
“I had been sharing my journey on TikTok and received a message from an anonymous page that they had gone on several dates with my husband and that he had lied and said he was divorced because his wife wanted kids and he didn’t,” she explained.
“I immediately showed my husband the message, and he denied it. He read it and said it was a crazy person trying to start problems, and he had no idea where that came from. He deleted it and blocked the profile on my phone.”
She didn’t quite buy her husband’s story, and she found his reaction strange. She also thought he might be lying to her, so she joined a local Facebook group called “Are We Dating The Same Guy?” and she actually found a post about her husband in there.
She instantly called her husband out, and he proceeded to break down and admit that he had joined the exact same dating app she had met him on, and had only gone on one date with a girl.
She sobbed and was full of sadness and anger. She spent the next few days crying alone in the shower while asking her husband dozens of questions. She wanted to know when, as well as why, he did this.
“This was all while I was early in my pregnancy, according to him. I also found out who the woman was, and she was much older, which also shocked me,” she added.
“In the end, I decided to move on and forgive him eventually. It’s been hard to get out of my head. His reasons were he wanted to see if he could still attract someone since he didn’t feel attractive anymore and felt like he needed to ‘get something out of his system,’ but that nothing ever happened. Not even a kiss.”
“I want to believe him, and most of me does. But there is a lingering bit of me that doesn’t. Sometimes my mind wanders off because I’m thinking of the whole thing again, and he will ask me what is wrong, and I lie to not stir it up again. It’s crazy because I feel guilty that he feels bad when we talk about it, even though I did nothing wrong, which is insane. Have we had our issues? Yes.”
Their problems have been primarily caused by her husband’s jealousy as well as a lack of a romantic connection. They argue a lot over her having friends who are guys, or her husband being afraid of her cheating.
This is why it’s so jaw-dropping to her that her husband has been accusing her of being unfaithful when he’s the one who did something suspicious.
Lately, they have not been arguing about those topics, and she truly thought they had entered the happiest moments of their lives. Also, they have talked about and dreamed about having a baby, so it’s extra hurtful that her husband went on a date while they were expecting.
“I made my decision to stay, and I’m not changing my mind. I just haven’t told anyone in my life about this (probably due to shame), and I needed to let it out. My only question I’m struggling with is how to move on and let this go,” she concluded.
Well, her husband already trickle truthed her, so I imagine he did more than just go out on a date with that girl. Her husband is a liar and a cheater.
I think she should reach out to that other woman to find out exactly what happened, since you know her husband will not be telling her the whole truth.
I’m surprised she doesn’t want to make plans to leave him, and I’m not sure how she will ever come to trust her husband again.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
