There’s no denying that there’s still a stigma surrounding prescription medication to treat anxiety and depression. These pills can be seen as taking the easy way out or some kind of personal failure, when in reality, they do save lives.
So if your spouse was vehemently opposed to you taking medication to help with your mental health, would you do it anyway and lie to them about it?
This woman has spent close to 13 years married to her husband, and she has always had problems with her mental health. Years ago, she brought up taking prescription medication to treat herself, and that did not go over well at all with her husband.
“He got upset and told me how bad of an idea he thought that was. Recently I decided I really needed help and got the prescription anyway. I did not tell my husband,” she explained.
“Over the last 2 months, I have been taking anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication. I feel like it’s helped me so much in a short period of time, and [I] was happy I finally made the leap.”
“I planned to tell him once I realized it was helping and not something I just tried and decided it wasn’t for me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to it. Every time I wanted to tell him, I just kept thinking that he would be upset, disapprove, and overall respect and love me less.”
She did want to tell him on countless occasions; she just didn’t. She admits that makes her cowardly. Yesterday night, she was completing her bedtime routine when she took out her medication and accidentally left it out on the counter.
She then fell asleep, and her husband spotted the pills the very next morning. She wasn’t fully awake when he questioned her about it, and she lied to his face, stating it was a pain reliever. But 10 minutes later, she confessed.
She knows it was a mistake to lie like that, and her husband was furious with her when she did come clean. She can’t really blame him for being so hurt.
“He says he can’t trust me if I can hide something like that every day. I never thought when I did this that it would reflect on my trustworthiness as a partner, and I feel so ashamed,” she continued.
“I can’t believe I did something to make him question that. I love him more than anything and crave his love and respect, and now I messed it all up. He left for work now, and I just feel like [what] is wrong with me. How could I let this happen?”
“Why did I feel so much shame [that] I chose to hide it from my partner I love so much? Trying to think of how to fix this, but I really don’t know. So scared I just ruined my relationship, and I have only myself to blame.”
Mental health is hard enough to deal with without having a judgmental spouse. Her husband is ignorant and controlling. While I definitely don’t usually condone hiding the truth from someone you love, she did so because her husband made it clear he didn’t support her getting treatment.
He basically preferred for her to live in misery, and that’s terrible. If her husband is really going to force her to choose between him and her mental health, guess what? She shouldn’t pick him at all.
This is like telling someone with diabetes they don’t need insulin; they should just deal. When you truly love someone, you want them to feel their best no matter what, and her husband evidently doesn’t love her.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
