His Wife Asked For An Open Marriage But Won’t Let Him Get Divorced Now That He’s Fallen In Love With The Girl He’s Hooking Up With

“Some time after this, she suggested that we try an open marriage. I was not thrilled about this suggestion, given how my last relationship with my ex-wife ended. But we talked about it civilly many times over a long period of time. And eventually I decided we should try it,” he explained.

They did come up with a few rules to stick to, including not bringing their partners into their shared bed, not developing emotions for or dating other people, and not speaking of these people in their house.

Initially, he was reluctant to find a partner, but six months later, he changed his mind. He stuck to the rules he and Natalie agreed on, but he couldn’t help but see their marriage had changed.

While he still loved Natalie, things were just different, but he didn’t know what. In the fall of 2024, he was on a work trip to another country and met a 29-year-old woman named Alyssa.

She’s from the same place he is; she’s gorgeous, she’s sassy, and she’s intelligent. He thought there was no way Alyssa would find him attractive, especially since he’s older than her.

She sent him a message weeks after their work trip, and they got to chatting. They became friends, and months later, Alyssa admitted to him that she reached out to him because she wanted a hookup.

“She had trashed that idea after she realized I am married (I mentioned it in a conversation very early on). I then told her that I’m in an open marriage, and soon after, we became [romantic] partners,” he added.

“After about maybe 6 months, I realized that I had developed some kind of feelings or an attachment to her. And I know I should’ve ended it right then and there. But I didn’t, and I didn’t tell her either. We just continued as we had.”

“After that, everything went on as it had, though I noticed I missed her more and more by the day. I stopped having other partners besides Alyssa. I noticed myself fantasizing about going on dates and trips with her.”

But then Alyssa pulled back, and she said they had to stop seeing one another, because she had fallen in love with him and couldn’t stick to their original arrangement.

He was blindsided, but he had also fallen in love with her too. He was terrified to lose her, and Alyssa said it wasn’t her intention to drive a wedge between him and Natalie.

He knows that he should have ended things with Alyssa or ended his marriage to Natalie as soon as he did catch feelings. Now, he wants a divorce. He doesn’t think this is fair to Natalie or to him.

He had a conversation with Natalie and said sorry for crossing a line.

“She was furious, and I understand that. But she did not agree to the divorce. She told me that I am wrong for divorcing her, that I should stay married to her, and that we should just close our marriage on my side,” he continued.

“But I don’t think that that’s right either. Natalie’s friend called me yesterday and basically called me [a jerk] for wanting a divorce. She told me that I should fight for my marriage and hope for forgiveness from Natalie.”

“I understand that I am the [jerk] for continuing my relationship with Alyssa after developing feelings, but am I the [jerk] for wanting to divorce my wife?”

Natalie should have asked for a divorce instead of an open marriage, because open marriages never end in happiness. The truth is, his marriage has been over for a long time, and he and Natalie have been holding off on dealing with it.

He should hold firm in wanting the divorce and eventually, Natalie should come around. He should be free to find joy with Alyssa, but never, ever get himself into an open marriage situation again.

What do you think?

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