She Tracked Down Her Dad After Never Knowing Who He Was And Now He’s Asking The Internet If He Should Have Kept The Truth From Her About Why He Wasn’t In Her Life
A 25-year-old woman named M recently tracked down her dad after never knowing who he was. He never was a part of her life growing up, but there are some important reasons why.
He didn’t keep those reasons a secret, but he’s feeling regretful about opening up to M about everything.
Now, M’s dad is asking the internet if he should have kept the truth from her about why he wasn’t in her life up until this point.
“…I wasn’t around from her birth all the way through to when her mother died a couple of years ago,” M’s dad said.
“Now, I know I’m not a perfect person here, I’ve done some bad things, but in this case, I don’t think I was the bad guy.”
“M’s mother and I dated for about a year after I graduated high school in 95, while I was just in college.”
M’s mom was 35, and he was 19 and in college at the time. They began dating after he had a terrible breakup with his high school sweetheart.
“I’ll be honest, her mother was a ‘rebound’ girl. Never thought it would be a long-term relationship or anything.”
They did have an intimate relationship, M’s parents, but they were always careful since M’s dad didn’t hide the fact that he was not interested in having kids at that point.
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One summer, M’s dad went on vacation with his family. When he got home from the trip, he went over to the apartment that M’s mom lived in.
Weirdly enough, her stuff was gone, her apartment was cleared out, and she seemed to have vanished into thin air.
In the years that followed, M’s dad was genuinely curious about what had happened and where she had gone.
He even tried a few times to find where M’s mom went, without any luck.
Then, a few months ago, M showed up and awkwardly said she was his daughter. She revealed to him that her mom passed away several years ago, and before she died, she told M to find him.
It took M that entire time to figure out where he was, and she clearly spent a long time looking for him.
So, M showed up, and she acted quite confrontational and angry towards him until he set the record straight.
She finally asked him why he was never a part of her life, and he replied honestly. “Two reasons. One, I didn’t know you existed, and two, your mom completely vanished on me,” he said.
M refused to believe what he was saying until it kind of sunk in and M started feeling upset towards her mom, who she adored.
She basically feels hatred towards her mom for lying to her, and she doesn’t hold anything against her dad now because he had no idea she was born.
M worshipped and respected her mom, but he’s feeling like he destroyed everything M loved about her mom by telling her the truth.
He then added the story that M’s mom had told her, and he said M’s mom had also changed her last name to his.
“Speaking with M, she said that the story her mother had always told her was that we had been married my junior year in high school, a real May December relationship, and had been actively trying for our first baby when I suddenly walked out on her, forcing her to pack up and move halfway across the country to try to start over,” he wrote.
“Every time her mother spoke of me, I was that ‘cheating b******, who never paid child support, and wasn’t worth two cents’ or something similar.”
“Though M noted that her mother never tried to actively seek any support. I was a non-person, a kind of…donor in her family growing up.”
“Every story her mother told her about me had very little truth to it, and when it did have truth, M feels (as do I) that it was skewed in some manner.”
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“It sounds a lot more like mom wanted a baby and didn’t really want dad in the picture. Or else got pregnant by accident and latered because she didn’t want to deal with co-parenting.”
“The mom lied to her daughter her entire life and it honestly sounds like she used you to get pregnant, TBH.”
“She sounds like a master manipulator and being dead doesn’t absolve her from the damage she did to both of you.”
“You spoke the truth and had no way to predict the outcome.”
“This poor girl needs some truth in her life. It seems like right now, she is justifiably angry with her mom, but I don’t think it will last forever.”
“Her mother is deceased, which means ultimately no harm is coming to her for your honesty. This is a no-win situation, because either she’s mad at you or she’s mad at her mom.”
“She already has good memories of her mom to fall back on, while you have no such thing. This way, she can have at least one alive parent. You both deserve the chance to connect.”
“If you want this girl in your life, then I think it’s going to take a long time and some therapy to get over that anger. I remember my twenties and I found plenty to be angry about.”
“Would gently suggest you get a DNA test to know for sure, though… It’s good that you told the truth but it’s all a little shady.”
“You all deserve the truth and it’s a rite of passage to humanize your mother/father – they are flawed people, not angels.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.
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