Her Boyfriend Doesn’t Let Her Wear Shorts Except For When She’s In The Gym, And When She Asked For A Compromise, He Threatened To Break Up With Her
It never starts with something huge. It starts with something small; something that shouldn’t be viewed as a big deal. A request, a rule, a restriction that’s supposed to prove love, not limit it.
At first, it was just shorts. Then it became a power struggle masked as protection. And now she’s left questioning why her comfort, confidence, and freedom are the price of keeping the peace in a relationship that’s supposed to feel safe.
Because when someone makes you choose between being yourself or being with them, is it really love, or just control with better branding?
This 22-year-old girl has a 25-year-old boyfriend whom she’s been with for a year and a half. They’ve had their fair share of difficulties in the relationship, and she loves and trusts her boyfriend for surviving the hardships together.
Her boyfriend does make her feel supported and cared for in many ways. She feels their relationship is pretty amazing, except for one thing: he will not let her wear shorts except for when she’s in the gym.
“According to him, it’s not about not trusting me, but rather not trusting other guys. He says he ‘knows how men think,’ and that me wearing gym shorts is like ‘adding fire to the wound,’ especially since he knows I get hit on sometimes,” she explained.
“Out of love and respect, I’ve been compromising. I mostly wear them just to work out and avoid wearing them out and about. But lately, I’ve found myself frustrated.”
“It’s hot where I live, I go to class, run errands, etc.—and sometimes I just want to be comfortable. Not to mention, it’s not like I dress provocatively otherwise. He hasn’t had issues with anything else I wear. Just this.”
She decided to bring the topic up once more and ask for her boyfriend to be more flexible on his end. Instead of being understanding, he got angry with her.
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He launched into a lecture on why he didn’t want to compromise with her, and he concluded it by asking if she still wanted to date him or not.
So, that’s a veiled threat that he was ready to dump her over the whole shorts thing. She responded that she did want to still be with her boyfriend, though she wanted to doubt that out loud.
She kept her emotions bottled up as she was concerned about hurting her boyfriend’s feelings or creating more problems.
“I’m torn. I know this might sound small or silly to some people, but it doesn’t feel small to me anymore. It’s not even about the shorts—it’s the principle,” she continued.
“I’m secure in myself. I know I’m loyal. I know nothing would ever happen. So why am I the one who has to change how I dress to manage his insecurity?”
“I feel like I’ve been slowly giving up tiny pieces of my freedom just to keep things smooth. And now I’m asking myself: is this something I can live with long-term? Will I resent him later? Am I being dramatic, or is this a real red flag?”
Honestly, her boyfriend seems way too controlling, and it sounds like it’s worth letting him go so she can go back to wearing shorts whenever she wants!
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