She Says She’s In Love With The Widowed Man Living Next Door But She’s Confiding In The Internet That She’s Not So Sure About His Young Kids
A 45-year-old woman lives next door to a 42-year-old man who is a widow with a 6-year-old and 3-year-old.
The family moved in about 3 years ago, and she learned that her neighbor’s wife passed away not long after having their second baby.
Her neighbor picked up the kids and moved next door to her since he was hoping for a change in his life.
She says that she ended up becoming friends with him pretty quickly after he moved in, and they remained friends for approximately a year and 6 months.
After that, they began to be more than only friends, and they started going to dinner together and things also got intimate.
Despite all that, she never asked for an official relationship, and neither did he. Recently, she has found herself really falling for her neighbor, and she decided to do something about it.
“I’ve told him that can see a future for us, but I see doubts in his eyes about that,” she said.
“I know it’s because of an earlier conversation where I mentioned that I was looking forward to my freedom (I am a single mother of 2 and my youngest goes the college next year).”
She told her neighbor that she wants to sell her house and buy a smaller one, and she also wants to be able to go travel.
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She revealed all of this to him before their relationship progressed to beyond the friend zone.
“Now while he says that he does have feelings for me, he does not see a future for us where his girls fit in with the life I want,” she explained.
“The truth is, neither do I… His girls are wonderful, but every kid is. The ones that you do not need to take care of is the cutest thing on the planet. But when they are your responsibility it’s another case. They are just so young and I am not sure I am ready to be a mother of little kids at 45…”
On the other hand, if he did not have any kids, she would be trying a lot more to move their relationship to the next level, but as of now, she’s uneasy and unsure about everything.
Sometimes she can actually see him and his kids as a big happy family along with her, and sometimes she just can’t.
She thinks that now her neighbor is beginning to withdraw from her, and they are not spending as much time together as they used to.
He previously would invite to nearly everything he was doing, including activities with his kids, but now he’s not.
She sees him putting the kids in the car and taking off with a simple wave, instead of asking her to come too.
Something else that’s now concerning her is the fact that the sister of his widow is starting to spend a lot of time at his house.
She sees this woman going on every outing with him and his kids that she was asked to come on previously.
She even went so far as to tease her neighbor about his sister-in-law being more than friends, but he downplayed the situation.
She’s bothered by his sister-in-law clearly showing behavior that suggests she is truly interested in him.
She is really in love with her neighbor, and if he did not have his 2 young children, she would be all-in. She isn’t sure about having to be a mom at her age, and she doesn’t want to make hasty choices here.
“I am trying not to repeat mistakes from my marriage,” she continued. “But I have been the happiest I have been since my divorce and I do not want to lose that.”
“But with his sister-in-law sulking around, I fear that the choice will be made for me. At this point, I wish he would give me an ultimatum to make me choose.”
“But this slow death of the time that we spent together and watching from my window someone that I know is moving in on the person I love is killing me. I just do not want to make a choice that I will regret or that all of us will regret.”
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“Thank you for being honest and acknowledging that starting over with kids may not be the right choice for you.”
“So many men and women pursued relationships knowing they don’t want kids and in time, those children end up feeling that vibe.”
“In all honesty, you may need to let this relationship go. It is not because you are a bad person or not emotionally connected to this man.”
“It is because you are not compatible in terms of lifestyle and that’s ok. His kids will always be first as they should. You have already reared your children and deserve to have time for you.”
“Maybe you may change your mind but right now. When the doubt is so real, let him go.”
“I’m 40 and I could never be with a man who had young kids, none of that would fit with my future goals in life.”
“Plus why do I want to be in my 50’s dealing with teenagers? You also have to realize that SIL is never going away.”
“She’s the aunt to his kids and will always be in their lives. Your neighbor and her are probably trauma bonded due to the loss of their wife and sister.”
“It’s actually not completely uncommon for two people to get together who have lost a shared loved one. If you stay with this man, she will always cause you insecurity and jealousy, unless you can learn to deal with her.”
“Personally, at the age of 40, I want the rest of my life to be calm and relaxing, not filled with kids and jealousy issues, but you have to decide if this man is worth these hurdles.”
You can read the rest of the advice the internet had for her here.
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