Cheating is something that’s nearly always done in the dark, and it’s not every day that you hear about someone asking for permission before being unfaithful.
How would you feel if your spouse came to you and asked you to condone them taking their coworker out on a date so they could cheat?
This 30-year-old woman has been married to her 33-year-old husband for the last seven years, and overall, their relationship has been going well, but that all changed a year ago.
Her husband received a promotion at work and then started talking about his 26-year-old female coworker all the time after that.
“The first time I hung out with them all outside of work, alarm bells started ringing. My husband spent the whole night entertaining her while I felt like the third wheel,” she explained.
She did ask her husband to put some space between himself and his coworker since she was that concerned about what was going on between them, and her husband promised to put up some boundaries to make her feel better.
A couple of months went by, and her husband quit talking about his coworker, so she was under the impression everything was going back to normal.
But a week ago, her husband sat her down and announced that he wanted to no longer be monogamous and had a desire to open up their marriage.
“He didn’t want to talk about who at first, but eventually he admitted he wanted to take [his] coworker out on a date. I told him I am monogamous. Our relationship has always been monogamous. I have no interest in [that],” she added.
“He asked me why I didn’t like her. The conversation ended when I said he couldn’t have a wife and a girlfriend, but he’s been moping around and crying on and off since. I want to save my marriage, but it’s not in my control.”
“It’s up to my husband and what he wants to do next. Nothing physical has happened yet. He hasn’t even told her about his crush yet. He said he wanted to ask me first. I think I could forgive him for this if things change, but I don’t know what’s reasonable to ask him for.”
She’s definitely shocked that her husband asked her for permission to cheat with his coworker, and she’s not sure what else she can do to fix things, aside from going to couples counseling.
I think her husband isn’t truly asking for her consent; he’s just trying to make it look like that. He essentially already revealed to her what he is going to do, whether she likes it or not.
Since she told her husband no, I think he’s going to cheat on her with his coworker anyway. He’s blaming her for not being able to have his cake and eat it too.
Her husband isn’t stopping to think about her wants or feelings, and that’s what’s so worrisome. He would need to get a new job and cut contact with his coworker in order to prove he wants to do what it takes to show her he’s serious about fixing their marriage, but it doesn’t sound like that’s going to happen, considering she already asked him to do something about that girl, and he didn’t.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
