She’s About To Get Married So She Wants To Abandon Her Adopted Siblings But She’s Asking The Internet If It’s Wrong
A 25-year-old woman basically adopted her siblings back when she was just 18, and she’s been the one taking care of them for pretty much a decade.
She never legally adopted her siblings, so now she’s wondering if she can abandon her 16-year-old brother and 14-year-old sister because she’s about to get married.
When her father died, she was 16, and her mom ended up falling apart. Suddenly, they were all homeless, and her mom struggled with substance abuse issues.
Her mom didn’t seem to care at all that she was dragging her 3 children around to motels or the houses of different guys.
As soon as she celebrated her 18th birthday, she was able to find a place of her own, and she took her younger siblings with her.
She struggled very hard to make ends meet, as her mom gave them nothing. She picked up a full-time job and also picked up other side jobs to afford their housing and meals.
“In essence, I became their mom and they were my kids. For a long time, we only had each other,” she said.
“My mom drifted from state to state. She only reached out when she wanted money or a place to sleep.”
“10 years later and she has a job and is mostly sober. She has a nice condo and recently got a brand new Mercedes.”
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“The ways she got these things are not because she worked really hard at her job if you get what I mean.”
Although her mom seems to be doing well for herself and can afford some expensive things, she never offers to give her money to help support her siblings.
Her mom is not paying any child support, but if she asks her for money she will send her a little bit. She never wanted to escalate things and alert CPS, because she was scared of losing her siblings.
Recently, her boyfriend proposed to her, and they’re trying to figure out where to live. He owns his own home, which would be too small for her and her siblings to all live in.
Adding to their problems, her brother is adamant about not switching schools, and unfortunately, he would have to since her fiancé’s house is an hour away from where they currently live.
“My fiancé has offered reasonable accommodations,” she continued. “We could make it work and still have them attend their school, but in all honesty, I don’t care.”
“I don’t want to be their mom anymore. I want my mom to take them and figure out new living arrangements. I spent nearly a decade caring for them. I don’t want to do it anymore.”
She nearly went crazy doing everything she did to take care of her siblings, and she became understandably stressed out about it all.
“I want to go play house with my soon-to-be husband and maybe have some tiny humans of my own,” she explained.
She confided in her maternal grandma that she doesn’t want to be the one taking care of her siblings anymore, and her grandma became furious with her.
Her grandma says she’s exactly like her mom for trying to abandon her siblings, and her grandma is very concerned that her mom will end up back where she was while her siblings will be homeless all over again.
“It scares the hell out of me. It makes me sad too. I love them so much. I know it doesn’t seem like it but I really do,” she wrote.
“And my sister does not want to go back to my mom. I’m kinda all she knows. But to say I’m tired and resentful is an understatement. I’m not their mom. That’s it, full stop.”
She’s really struggling with the decision she wants to make in light of her grandma getting upset with her.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“You seriously think mom is gonna take care of them?”
“BUT as much as I understand the need to have your own life back, both kids are nearly at an age they will be a lot less dependent on you (getting jobs, going to college, moving out, etc), and given the trauma they have already been through, I kinda feel like you would regret in the long term “abandoning” them to their Mom.”
“You’re almost there.. your brother is 16 and you should mentally ready him to get a job and support himself/ move out in 2 years. Same with your sister in 4 years.”
“Can your fiancé and you adjust for 2 years? The house will be emptier once your brother moves. You’re still so young.”
“Wow. This is harsh. She was left alone with her siblings at 16 and she’s spent the last 9 years raising them so they didn’t go into the care system.”
“She’s a victim here, their mother shouldn’t have abandoned them and the other adults in the family should have stepped up when she did.”
“…She has a right to feel resentful and stuck. I have no advice on what she should do but she shouldn’t have been left with in the first place. Not sure what the grandparents were thinking.”
“You were forced to step up and be a parent at an age where the biggest concern of most people is the cute guy at school and getting their driver’s license.”
“It is okay to feel resentment and being tired of this. But you should really think about the potential future of your siblings before you give them to your mother.”
“I would try to get CPS and a Court involved so that you can at least get money from her, if she can buy a Mercedes then she can also sell this car and pay you back!”
“You were abused and you can’t take being a parent to your siblings anymore when you haven’t even been able to live your own life because of your mother. It’s not abandonment. It’s you making your mother face the consequences of her actions and taking your life back.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say to her here.
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