This Teen Told Her Sick Mom She Won’t Take Care Of Her When She’s Too Sick To Care For Herself And She’s Asking The Internet If It Was Wrong
A 19-year-old woman has 4 older siblings; all boys. Her brothers are 28, 25, 22, and 21-years-old.
“Just to give some background my mom has always loved being a boy mom,” she explained. “She dotes on them and made it very very clear she never wanted to and didn’t like having a daughter.”
“She never liked me and I accepted that a long time ago and her behavior towards me worsened when my dad left her.”
“When I turned 16, her gift to me was a list of jobs I can apply to, to “pay for my expenses” even though my dad was giving her child support.”
“Then at 17, she kicked me out because I wasn’t willing to pay more than $400 rent while my brothers didn’t even work.”
It’s been more than 2 years since she lived with her mom, and after her mom kicked her out of the house at 17 she never returned.
Anyway, her mom recently asked her to come to lunch with her a weekend ago, and she agreed to meet her mom.
During lunch, her mom revealed to her that she is very sick, and has been going to the hospital very frequently.
Her mom just learned that she only has a year or a year and a half at best left until she will be unable to care for herself due to being too sick and weak.
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“She asked when that time came if I’d be willing to be her caretaker as she didn’t want men, aka my brothers, to take care of her in that state and didn’t want a stranger to either,” she said.
Well, she straight up told her mom that she’s not willing to take care of her at all. She also mentioned it was time for her to begin finding another person who wants to take care of her.
Her mom went back to her brothers and let them know what her answer was, and now her brothers are upset.
Her mom also made a post on Facebook saying she does not care about her mom, and she’s being flooded with messages from her mom’s friends accusing her of being terrible things.
She’s been called self-centered and cold-hearted, to name a few of those things.
Her dad and her dad’s family are on her side here, but she can’t help but feel like an awful person. She’s left wondering if she truly is so terrible for not wanting to care for her mom.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“You don’t owe her anything. She has four children she has invested in, you aren’t one of them. She can get her return on her investment through her precious boys.”
“Deactivate Facebook, change your number if you have to: focus on your success and survival because if you don’t no one else will.”
“She reaped what she sowed, and by not developing and maintaining a close mother/daughter relationship with you she’s lost out on being entitled to what that may allow her.”
“She tried to charge rent to a minor and kicked you out when you were still a minor. Your mother gave birth to you but she didn’t nurture you.”
“Not at all. Tell your brothers they can all chip in and pay for a caretaker. And make sure the relatives know specifically how she treated you. Hide nothing.”
“She can apply for home care or move into a nursing home or in with one of your golden brothers. The fact that she blasted you publicly on social media shows even more how difficult it would be for you to be around her. You’d have to quit your job to be her full-time carer. You are not trained for that. (are you?)”
“You are essentially ‘a stranger’ to her, too, by her choice. Don’t feel guilty that you can’t or don’t want to do it. It’s no easy work and I guarantee you it would be thankless.”
“You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. Period. Offer to help her find home care and have it set up for when she needs it. If she still tries to guilt you into it, hang up, and call whatever social services people are in charge of home care and get them connected.”
“She has only bothered to contact you now because she wants to use you. She has four other children she preferred for years until she became sick and she should go to them for help.”
“So…after all that background, as soon as you say you won’t care for you, she trashes you on Facebook. Guess that tells you where that stands.”
“Your incubator… I mean mother made it very clear to you how she feels about you. She doesn’t seem to care about you unless you’re useful to her.”
“That’s no way to treat a person, let alone your own child. Then she forced you into paying rent as a minor and kicked you out when she couldn’t squeeze you for more money.”
“Now she wants you to forget all the bad treatment she gave you because she’s sick. Nah.”
“I’d throw the whole family away. They all seem to have forgotten what she put you through, or they think it was acceptable behavior when it wasn’t. I’d really suggest going low or no contact and do your own thing.”
You can read the rest of the advice the internet had here.
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