Her Boyfriend Wants Her To Pick Up And Move To New York City For His Job But He Weirdly Doesn’t Want Her To Live In The Same Apartment As Him
New York, New York. A 28-year-old woman is dating a man who is 1 year younger than her, and they currently live in the South.
Her boyfriend is finishing up his MBA and graduating this upcoming May. He already has gotten a job in investment banking in New York City that’s set to start in July.
She’s been with her boyfriend for 1 year now, and he would like her to pick up and move the 9+ hours away from where they live to New York City with him.
The weirdest part about this though is he doesn’t want to live with her and wants to get a separate apartment.
She has a few issues with this; the first one being that his starting salary is going to be two to three times more than what she makes.
Since it’s not cheap by any means to live in New York City, she’s concerned that she’s going to have to live in a worse area than he can afford and she’s concerned she also might have to live somewhere not so safe.
“I am almost certain the disparity in living standards is going to ruin our relationship,” she explained.
“His argument: he has gotten advice in the past (from multiple people that he says he trusts) that living together before marriage is bad for a relationship and not to do it.”
“He also said 2 years isn’t enough time for him to propose to someone. He also insists that if I find a great job, I am technically moving for my job, so I am not only moving for him.”
Look! – stock.adobe.com
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“He also says I have known since day one he might end up living in a different city depending on where he got a job offer, so how could I expect him to propose after only 18 months.”
“While this is true, I also didn’t expect him to ask me to move while having the audacity to say we have to live separately.”
If this were a different situation than the one they find themselves in, she would be in agreement with him that it’s not ideal to live with one another prior to getting married.
She doesn’t even expect her boyfriend to propose at this point in time, but she thinks picking up her entire life and moving to New York City isn’t a normal situation, and she’s not comfortable with following through with this without some kind of commitment.
The bare minimum she expects in regards to a commitment is at least living together.
If she was not in a relationship with her boyfriend, she never would want to move to New York City, because she has a great job and is living somewhere that is pretty affordable so she can save a lot.
Tierney – stock.adobe.com
Additionally, all her friends and family members live very close to where she is now.
“He says I am putting him in an impossible situation and that giving him an ultimatum is not the answer,” she said.
“I understand that if I decided to move, I would likely be moving to NYC after he starts his job, so I am not sure how us finding an apartment together after he already signs a lease would even work out.”
Her boyfriend insists that he loves her and thinks she could be the “future mother of his children.”
He does not want to move to New York City without her, but she doesn’t want to move with him if he’s not going to be making a bare minimum commitment and she thinks his words aren’t matching up with his actions here.
How would you feel in this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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