A Guy Is Going To Be Her Maid Of Honor But Her Fiancé Doesn’t Agree With This

This woman was supposed to get married in March 2020 but had to postpone her wedding until this summer because of Covid.
Of course, so much has changed in the world over the past few years, but the people around her have also gone through their own transformations.
Most notably, her best friend and chosen maid of honor, Hendrick, realized that he was a man and began transitioning.
She clarifies that Hendrick has always been a man and is now just comfortable with his true gender expression.
The bride doesn’t see any issue with having Hendrick as her maid of honor, and Hendrick also doesn’t feel that this invalidates his identity.
So, what’s the problem? Well, the bride’s fianceé is worried that having a man as her maid of honor will confuse guests.
He said to his bride, “people won’t know he’s trans just by looking at him and will be confused as to why he’s my MOH.”
He also told her, “a guy shouldn’t be my MOH anyway.”
So he clearly has discomfort surrounding rigid gender roles and could even be projecting this onto their wedding guests. But the bride still doesn’t see why her MOH’s gender matters.

farmuty – stock.adobe.com
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
The bride has known Hendrick since the eighth grade, and he has dedicated a great deal of time and energy to help plan her wedding. Also, nothing has changed in their relationship since Hendrick’s transition.
The bride explained, “None of my reasons about wanting him to be my MOH has changed since he’s come out as a guy. And I don’t understand why I have to change my MOH because of people’s judgey opinions, or how it will look in wedding photos, or because it doesn’t fit “gender roles.”
But her fianceé won’t let go of the idea that something needs to change in their wedding setup; he even suggested making his cousin or even Hendrick’s girlfriend his bride’s MOH.
And, to make matters worse, a lot of their family members have chosen her fianceé’s side in the argument.
Still, the bride feels that tradition doesn’t equate to law; “Like why does my MOH have to be the same gender as me?” she asked. “Who made that a rule?”
One commenter responded with an interesting tidbit; “The entire wedding party role of groomsmen/bridesmaids was originally made up to scare off ‘evil spirits,’ it’s a nonsense tradition you can keep or alter it however you please.”
In reality, heterosexual marriage is about as gender-normative as you can get. So, if her fianceé is deeply uncomfortable with Hendrick’s presence, it could indicate that he’s operating under the influence of toxic masculinity. He might even feel jealous that another man is supporting his bride, which is equally unhealthy.
But even the bride’s mother suggested that they “just tell people [Hendrick’s] trans.” However, coming out on behalf of another person is not only out of bounds, but in today’s social climate—where being an out trans person is inherently dangerous—it would be utterly reckless for them to out him.
Ultimately, it seems that the discomfort surrounding her MOH choice is rooted in transphobia and a deep need to meet society’s biased standards rather than risk making anyone “uncomfortable.”
Hopefully, the bride can stick to her guns and look out for other signs that her fianceé’s inherent bias is becoming a direct threat to her relationships and affirming worldview. You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe.
More About:Weddings