She’s Footing The Bill For Her Brother’s Entire Wedding, But He’s Not Inviting Her To Be In The Bridal Party Or Involving Her At All, So She’s Feeling Like He’s Taking Advantage Of Her

A 31-year-old woman has a 29-year-old brother who is tying the knot in 2023, and they live in Northern Ireland.
Sadly, their mom passed away back in 2012, and their dad passed away not long after in 2016. After the loss of their parents, she and her brother are the only ones left in their family.
Now, she was in the military when she was younger, but after she left the military, she became a commercial airline pilot.
She currently makes a ton of money; a little north of $200,000 annually. In contrast, her brother does not make nearly as much as she does.
He does work a decent job, but he earns around $47,000.
“We were raised to always look after each other and share,” she explained. “My partner and I are child free.”
“Over the years I have paid for my brother’s Master’s degree, paid the down payment on his house (our parents rented, so there is no family home).”
“I will also be paying for my future SIL (F26) and my brother to have future rounds of IVF. SIL works part-time and earns about 15k a year, her parents are not well off.”
Her husband has no problem with her helping out her brother and future sister-in-law financially; in fact, she and her husband also foot the bill for his sister to attend college.

deagreez – stock.adobe.com
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Her future sister-in-law is only able to hold down a part-time job due to a medical problem that she has, and she won’t ever be able to get a full-time job because of her condition.
Her future sister-in-law and her brother already have tried two rounds of IVF; one round the NHS paid for, and the second round her future sister-in-law’s family paid for.
Since her future sister-in-law’s family paid for the second round, they told her they could not help cover the costs of the upcoming wedding at all.
Because of that and because she makes a lot of money, her brother reached out and asked her to help them out with paying for the wedding.
She offered to foot the bill for her brother’s entire wedding, as she figured he is only having 100 people and it won’t cost that much.
She made a separate bank account for the wedding and deposited a little under $34,000 into the account. She then granted account access to her brother, as well as her future sister-in-law.
Her future sister-in-law has already included her whole family in the bridal party, and they have been asked to be groomsmen and bridesmaids.
Unfortunately, she and her husband haven’t been included in the bridal party at all, and they were only invited to the wedding as guests.
On top of this, her future sister-in-law has invited her family to take tours of different venues, but she hasn’t been asked to be part of that either.
She’s simply getting emails of how much each venue will cost and whether or not her brother and future sister-in-law are going to pick that venue.

ver0nicka – stock.adobe.com
“I told my brother I don’t mind paying for the wedding but I feel really weird that everyone else is involved in the decision and I’m just involved with paying,” she revealed.
“Brother has said that I’m not our parents, I can’t replace our parents and that’s why I’m not involved.”
“Why can’t I just do something nice without making him feel s***. I feel like an a****** for causing drama, but also feel taken advantage of.”
She then clarified that every time she does do things with her brother that aren’t wedding-related, she pays the bill for that too.
She thinks it’s ok for her to have done this all along since she is very close to her brother, and he has emotionally supported her through some tough times in her life, along with her future sister-in-law.
“I still don’t know what to do, but I do think maybe I’m not setting him up for success as I hoped, and also that I do deserve some recognition even if it’s just privately from him,” she concluded.
How would you handle this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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