She’s Struggling Financially And Her Boyfriend Is Not, So She’s Starting To Doubt That It’s Fair For Them To Split All Their Expenses Equally

A 23-year-old woman is dating her boyfriend, who is 24, and she’s beginning to doubt that it’s fair for them to split their expenses equally, considering she is struggling financially and her boyfriend is really not.

She’s been dating her boyfriend for 3 years, and 8 months ago they moved in together. She really does think their relationship is wonderful, but she’s starting to resent things when it comes down to money.

She grew up having to buy everything she wanted on her own from a young age. She started working as a bartender and server at the age of 15, and she then began cleaning houses on top of that.

“I have also paid for school out of pocket from working, up until now in my last year of uni, and I had to take out student loans this year because I couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket,” she explained.

“I’m not saying Im poor or hard done by, just trying to give an idea of how I am not entitled when it comes to money and do not feel owed money, and I am a hard worker.”

This past year, her classes have gotten so crazy that she’s had to stop working entirely, except for picking up an occasional cleaning shift.

She’s also had to volunteer for part of her resume, so she really doesn’t have a lot of time left to work at all.

“My boyfriend graduated a year ago and makes a good salary in IT as a recent grad, ~80k,” she said.

“Plus he has gotten some family inheritance, his education/living expenses were mostly covered by his parents in school (so he has no debt), and his parents pay his phone bill still.”

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“Additionally he has been investing in the stock market from a very young age, as well as in crypto, so he has a pretty penny in there. How we split out finances is 50/50, literally every single purchase is split equally, rent, groceries, bills, ordering food, eating out, etc.”

It doesn’t matter if it’s a small purchase or a large one; they split everything. She’s starting to resent their process regarding finances since she bought a car a few years ago, and now her boyfriend is using it as much as she does, yet he refuses to help pay for it.

“His argument is, it’s your car and I don’t want to be making payments to pay off your car… which is funny cause we both use it the same amount,” she continued.

“Bare minimum I told him he had to start splitting car insurance with me starting in the new year. We fought to the grave for days about it, he put up a huge fight and resisted it so much.”

“I cried a lot and we almost broke up over this. But just with how I was raised, it really bothered me that he wouldn’t split this, especially because we split almost everything else, and it was just something that was a deal-breaker for me if he didn’t agree I realized.”

“So eventually he agreed to start paying car insurance starting this month (NOT car payments or anything else, just the car insurance).”

“So on top of the car, I also have to pay more than him monthly just with having my dog, my phone bill (cause his parents pay his), and just being a female all-around usually costs a bit more (IMO, and definitely in the case of our relationship).”

She just doesn’t see how the 50/50 split of their finances is fair in their relationship anymore. She always thought her boyfriend didn’t have money, but in hindsight, she’s realizing he’s just been cheap all along.

“I was working full time bartending and making really good money, so I paid for the majority of things, like when we would go out for food and drinks, and I assumed he was broke and I really wanted to help him,” she continued.

“On top of that, I let him use my car almost every day to get to his internship because I didn’t need it that much (another reason he should be contributing to the car then and now lol).”

“So basically now, I’m really struggling financially, especially with Covid tearing down the service industry, it’s been hard to keep up.”

“I also recently had to pay 8k for an unexpected expense that really set me back. I’m not really sure where to go from here. He knows I am struggling financially.”

Her boyfriend continues to tell her that he’s saving his money for their future, but she’s beginning to realize she won’t need his help in the future because once she gets her master’s, she’s going to be making great money.

She really needs her boyfriend to help her out now, not in several years. She does not want to have to ask her boyfriend for help though, and he is completely aware of her financial position.

She was holding out hope that her boyfriend would step up and offer to help her, but so far, he has not at all.

“I also didn’t want to have to ask him for help, he knows my exact position, and I hoped he would offer, but he is still so stingy,” she wrote.

“I don’t know what to do. Maybe this stems from him not wanting me to think I can take advantage of him for money. But heck at this point I feel like he’s been the one taking advantage of me.”

How would you handle this situation?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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