People Are Debating Online If “Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater” Is True

Being cheated on can feel like the ultimate form of betrayal. But is it possible for people to change and relationships to recover?
That is what one Reddit user, named Qwertyfu, wanted to know. They asked the internet if the sentiment “once a cheater, always a cheater” is always true. And, the thread offered up some diverse beliefs.
Some Think That The Saying Is In Need Of An Update
“I feel like, ‘if they do it for you, they will do it to you,’ is more accurate. In other words, if they cheat to be with you, then they are more likely to cheat to be with someone else,” user Mikes47jeep said.
Many Agreed, And Even Provided Examples
“My dad is a classic example of this. Now in his sixties, he has not been single since his early teens. He’s on his fourth wife and has never divorced one without already having the next lined up– with multiple girlfriends running alongside his marriages.”
“I don’t know what they were all thinking. My mom still insists that she didn’t know he was already married when she accepted his proposal.”
“That is the thing I will never get. This conviction that ‘they cheated on their former partner for me, but with us it’s different.'”

kieferpix – stock.adobe.com
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“People who did it once will do it again if the urge or opportunity arises. That is why I would never begin or stay in a relationship with someone who cheats on their partner. That person has just proven that they can’t be trusted to be faithful.”
Others Believe That It Really Depends On The Situation
“There are a lot of reasons for infidelity, but many of them stem from issues that people have. Infidelity is what they use to either mask those issues or to simply not address them.”
“So many people are carrying so much baggage nowadays. It shouldn’t be surprising when others run off to be in someone else’s arms because they promise you a fleeting moment of comfort. The hope, of course, is that you realize what is making you run to them– and hopefully pause to consider whether that trip is worth making or if there is another path you can take.”
“I think the only way to know is to figure out why they cheated and if they’re self-aware and more mature now.”
“For example, if they cheated because the relationship was abusive and they needed some type of out– or whatever else– then no, they probably won’t cheat again.
“But, if they cheated because they were bored or the like, then yeah, they might do it again.”
“There is no excuse for it. But, there are different angles to view this from; different trains of thought and motivations.”
Still, Some Really Do Believe That People Are Capable Of Changing
“Not everyone does it more than once. My husband cheated once– five years into our marriage– and it nearly broke us. what we had afterward was much different than before and, in a lot of ways, it was better.”
“There were many fights, lost of tears, and I still carry emotional scars. At times, I still get paranoid when he becomes distant– which is pretty often because he has severe depression. But, we are sixteen years past that now and coming up on twenty-two years of marriage. We communicate much more and better now, and we work as a team.”
“Personally, I don’t believe it to be true. I view most negative behavior through this lens: everyone makes mistakes.”
“Not everyone knows what hurts everyone else or just how much it hurts them. Some people have addiction or impulse problems and allow themselves to be in tempting situations.”
“What concerns me is a pattern of behavior. If you cheat on me once but seem remorseful and open to discussing it thoroughly so we can find a way to move forward, I’ll forgive it. That doesn’t mean I forget, though!”
“If you cheat again, it becomes a pattern. You’ve shown that I don’t mean enough to you to put in the work and avoid doing it again. I highly doubt I would forgive the second offense.”
“People CAN, in fact, grow– regardless of their age. Growing takes effort, though. So, if they are not putting in the effort, realize that they are not going to grow.”

Strelciuc – stock.adobe.com
“I cheated in the past, and then I also got cheated on. I ended up in therapy and did a ton of inner work and self-reflection. I can confidently say I would never cheat again.”
“In my opinion, it’s one of the most awful and cruel things you could do to someone. I would break up with my significant other rather than cheat. It not only destroys the person being cheated on, but it gnaws away at the soul of the cheater, too– whether they realize it at the time or not.”
“I fully believe that people can change if they want to.”
“If you believe that, then you believe that people are incapable of growth; that we are stuck in infinite circles. I think some folks fall into the same self-destructive patterns and make the same mistakes. But is that to say they’re always going to make the same mistake? That they will never learn, or fall in love, or heal themselves?”
“I like to think that someone who sets out to better themselves will do so.”
What Do You Think?
Is it possible to overcome cheating in a relationship? Will you ever be able to trust your partner again fully?
And to read the entire Reddit thread, visit the link here.
More About:Human Interest