She Didn’t Know Her Boyfriend Is Autistic When She Met Him, But It’s Upsetting Her Now
This woman is feeling unsure about continuing her relationship. She and her boyfriend are not only from different countries and trying to navigate differences in cultural expectations, but she also just found out about his autism diagnosis.
The woman is from Russia and, upon meeting him, immediately hit it off with her boyfriend. She believes they are compatible and communicate well.
The woman also thinks her boyfriend is handsome, intelligent, and funny– what most girls dream of in a man. Now, though, she has other reservations.
“When we met, I did not know about his diagnosis. In fact, I found out a couple of months ago,” the woman said.
Her view of her partner has since changed, especially after realizing that he does not match her cultural expectations of a husband.
“In my perspective as a girl born in Moscow and raised in Russian culture, the man of my dreams has his own business and friends; he is someone who has grown mentally and stands firmly on his feet,” the woman explained.
When the pair met, the woman noted that her boyfriend did have a robust social life. Since the pandemic, though, his social circle has shrunk, and the woman is worried.
“After the pandemic, he has no friends– only family, and even they are not too close. He lives alone, does not want to make new friends, and he does not work,” the woman explained.
She does want to help him get through this but feels that their language barrier is getting in the way.
New Africa – stock.adobe.com
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“I would be happy to introduce him to my friends. I would even meet people who know English myself so that he can communicate. But, I don’t feel that he wants to do it,” the woman explained.
“I feel guilty that he fell in love with me because I am a Russian who cannot provide a circle of English-speaking friends.”
Besides the Russian cultural expectation of men having substantial work and social lives, the woman has another, more maternal reservation.
“What also worries me a lot is that he, as a person with autism, does not want to have children– so as to not pass on his genes and make the child unhappy,” the woman explained.
She has no problem having children who may inherit her boyfriend’s genes.
Instead, the woman believes that having children is “the right of every person as long as you can feed and raise the child with dignity and education.”
Despite her supportive stance, the woman’s boyfriend is still confused and wishes to speak with a psychologist before making a final decision.
Now, the woman is left feeling guilty for wanting him to change and mold to her expectations.
If you were in this woman’s shoes, what would you do? Do you believe the couple can work out their differences?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe.
More About:Human Interest
