She Doesn’t Want Her Fiancé’s Brother To Be In Their Wedding Party Over The Comment He Made About Her Weight
This woman was bullied about her looks in high school and is having major flashbacks with comments her fiancé’s brother has made about her weight.
In her Reddit post, she gave some background for how she experienced hate growing up and how it’s affected her self-esteem.
“The main way this took place was people asking my then-boyfriend why he was with me because I was “ugly,” this happened in front of me and also when I wasn’t present.”
She recently mentioned around her fiancé that his family might not approve of her or think she was in his league.
This came from a place of insecurity that grew when people would ask her high school boyfriend why he was with her.
She said, “I bet [your brother] thinks I’m ugly.” Her fiancé told her, “I’m sure he doesn’t, especially as he did say to me when we started dating, ‘why are you with [OP]? She’s fat.'” This comment was, of course, crushing for her to hear, especially since her weight had not been a sensitive area in her self-image until a few years ago.
Now, she’s seriously questioning what role her future brother-in-law should play in her upcoming nuptials.
Her primary fear is having to hear him make a speech and have a significant role in the ceremony. Though her fiancé is flexible about his brother’s involvement, their family might react differently.
She shared this fear, writing, “My fiancé doesn’t have any emotional attachment to having his brother as best man, they’re not really close, but is worried about family fall out.”
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She tried justifying letting things go on as planned, since “It’s only one day, it’s one little speech, it’s one comment he made years ago, and he never said anything to my face.” But her fiancé told her that she could choose whether or not his brother was the best man on the big day.
Redditors did not hold back their opinions in the post’s comments; one wrote, “You are projecting what your “used-to-be-bullies say” onto the brother.”
Another said that she put herself and her husband-to-be in a “no-win situation” by asking what his brother thought of her looks. Though this commenter agreed that multiple parties shared blame for the situation—”Your fiancé was an idiot for sharing his brother’s comment. Your future BIL shouldn’t have called you fat.”
A kind commenter encapsulated a lot of the advice the other users had contributed in a compassionate note. “I empathize with your image issues – I have them too – but constantly fishing for reassurance is not going to help you.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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