She Doesn’t Want Her Mom To Buy Her Wedding Dress Because She Feels Guilty
Guilt is a powerful thing. If you aren’t familiar with it, you are fortunate. For those who have lived with guilt or someone who constantly tries to manipulate us through guilt, you understand how unfair and stressful it is.
This story is about classic mom-daughter guilt that often rears its ugly face when wedding bells start to ring. Posted under one of my favorite Reddit communities, this question isn’t a tough one:
What do you do when your mother makes you feel like you did something wrong when you’re at the mercy of her credit card?
Storytime: Girl gets engaged in 2021 and sets a tentative wedding date in spring or summer of 2023.
Her mom and dad are thrilled and want to contribute to the wedding financially; at the “very least,” they want to buy the dress.
When the time comes to book the wedding venue, their date is not available, and they commit to 4 weeks earlier than initially planned.
Well, you’d think it was a year earlier. “My mum decided that it was too short notice and said that they’d no longer be able to contribute what they initially wanted to. … However, she has said she’d still like to buy my dress.”
But every time the subject of the wedding and the dress come up, she continuously reminds her daughter that money is tight, but she doesn’t do it in a thoughtful, harmless way.
Instead, she sneaks in little verbal jabs and reminders of all the other expenses she’s responsible for the entire year of 2023.
Margo Basarab – stock.adobe.com
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“She keeps joking about her two daughters bankrupting her for dresses in the same year …”
And it’s getting old. It’s sucking the fun and excitement out of everything, leaving the girl feeling guilty and apprehensive about taking her mom with her to shop for her dress.
It’s to the point where she wants to tell her mom she will pay for her dress herself, but she’s worried it would make her a bad daughter.
My take; In the past, it was traditional for the bride’s parents to financially contribute the most towards a wedding.
Buying a wedding dress for your daughter was a rite of passage for moms and perhaps even a dream to fulfill for moms living vicariously through their kids. This may be one of the driving forces for this mother to want to purchase “the dress.”
But, the year is 2022. Traditions do not necessarily apply to today’s lifestyles, and weddings are not cheap.
Life happens, and you can’t always plan for things to fall financially in place. Good intentions can always be appreciated but not always expected. If this mom and daughter had an open line of communication with each other, the mother would know there were no expectations.
If this girl’s mother doesn’t stop her passive-aggressive bullshit, I think it’s time to say, “thank you, but no thank-you.” She should get a hold of this situation before it takes over every aspect of planning the wedding.
When it’s all said and done, you don’t want memories of your wedding to be of your mom complaining. And, God forbid, keep that guest list away from her!
What do you think? You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe.
More About:Weddings
