He Postponed His Wedding After His Fiancée Demanded Her Ex’s Ashes Be Displayed At The Altar

Lovely bride in amazing white dress at home
IVASHstudio - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Marriage is supposed to be about building a life together, but sometimes the biggest warning signs show up long before the vows.

When your partner’s idea of a wedding includes putting their ex at the center of it, you’re not just looking at grief; you’re staring at a red flag waving right in your face.

This man has spent the last four years with his fiancée, whom he proposed to in the spring. A few months ago, they finally kicked off the wedding planning process, and it has not been smooth sailing.

Amid one discussion about what they should include in their big day, his fiancée nonchalantly questioned him about where the urn should go.

Puzzled, he asked her to elaborate on what the heck she was talking about. It was then that his fiancée demanded to have her ex-boyfriend’s ashes at their ceremony.

“Not just tucked away somewhere discreet, either. She wants his urn displayed near the altar, she wants to take pictures holding it along with the bouquet, and she even floated the idea of setting a chair for him in the front row ‘so he can still be part of the day,'” he said.

Oh, and his fiancée bought fake rose petals and heart-shaped tea lights off of Amazon to surround her ex’s urn.

He informed his fiancée that he was not down to have her ex and his ashes participate in their wedding day. He acknowledged that grief is quite complex, and he will never make her forget her ex ever existed, but he reminded her that their wedding day should be about them.

He said the last thing their wedding should be is a literal shrine to her late ex. Well, that just made her livid, and she screamed at him that he’s envious of an ash pile.

Lovely bride in amazing white dress at home
IVASHstudio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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His fiancée kept on yelling that since her ex is dead and gone, it’s not like she can run away with him or something.

“That really stung. I told her I needed time to think and that we should postpone the wedding until we’re on the same page. Now I’m honestly questioning if this marriage is even a good idea,” he continued.

“[Am I the jerk] for not wanting someone else’s ashes to have a reserved spot at my wedding?”

I think that at the end of the day, it’s one thing to honor the past, but it’s another to let it sit in the front row of your future.

No bride or groom should have to compete with ghosts while watching their partner drag old baggage or heartbreak with them to the altar.

If a partner can’t separate their love story from their loss, it’s less about commitment and more about clinging to what’s gone, and that’s not the kind of foundation you want to build a marriage on.

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