He And His Girlfriend Are Not On The Same Page About Having Children, So That’s Why He Doesn’t Want To Move In With Her
A 31-year-old guy has been dating his 32-year-old girlfriend Rachel for more than 3 years now.
Although he is in love with Rachel and feels that their relationship is overall pretty wonderful, there’s something preventing him from taking the next step with her.
Prior to meeting Rachel, he did have a son from another relationship that he was in, and his son is turning 5-years-old soon.
He adores that Rachel is excellent with his son, and Rachel and his son have their own bond.
“I love my son very much, but my experience raising him over the past 5 years has made me realize that one kid is enough for me,” he explained.
“I can’t see myself having another. I knew this had a chance to be a sticking point in relationships, so I’ve always been upfront about the fact that I do not want to have kids.”
Around a year and a half into dating Rachel, she wondered if it would be a good idea for them to move in with one another.
He and Rachel only live 2 miles away from each other, and it’s not like a huge effort to get to spend time together since they do live so close.
Rachel exects to buy a home with him and live with him as the next milestone for them to achieve together.
kegfire – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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“I am on board with all of that, but when we had the conversation, I reiterated again that I did not see myself having another child,” he said.
“I love Rachel, and we compromise on a lot of things, but this is something that I’m pretty set on.”
Back when that did come up, Rachel maintained that she wasn’t sure if kids were in her future and she wasn’t positive about making a choice either way about it.
He was completely alright with Rachel taking her time coming to the decision that best fit her, and he was willing to wait and see what she decided on.
In the years since, Rachel hasn’t given him a definitive answer on whether or not she does want to have children of her own, and he feels that he can’t move in with her until she arrives at her conclusion on such an important life topic.
“To me, not being on the same page about kids is an issue that rises to the level of being able to end a relationship,” he continued.
“If this is going to end our relationship, I would much rather it happen now than three years from now when we own property together. That can get messy.”
What’s really bothering him is that Rachel has turned around and told her loved ones that he just doesn’t want to commit to her, which isn’t true.
He just doesn’t want to move in with Rachel until he knows if she wants children or not, since he’s dead set against having another child at any point in his life.
He’s realized that Rachel’s family members and even her friends have started pushing him to move in with her, and it’s not fair.
He has been nothing but honest with Rachel about what he needs from her before taking the next serious step together, yet she’s not hearing him out.
“Am I being unreasonable here to say that we need to agree on kids before we buy a house together?” he wondered.
“I didn’t think that was an unreasonable stance at all, but it’s starting to feel that way. I love Rachel and I love our relationship, but I’m not sure that this is something I can compromise on.”
Do you think he’s making a good choice in not wanting to move in with Rachel until he knows how she feels about children?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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