Her Family Refuses To Meet Her Boyfriend And Thinks She Needs To Dump Him Simply Because He’s Disabled
A 23-year-old girl has been dating her 26-year-old boyfriend for close to 2 years now, and her boyfriend has a spinal cord injury.
Back when her boyfriend was a teenager, he got into a car accident that left him quadriplegic, although he is able to use his arms.
“His main limitations are around driving, getting out of bed in the morning, and taking showers,” she explained.
“We are considering moving in together. My parents are extremely against my relationship with him, citing his disability as a tragedy that will hinder me in my life.”
“They told me they love the rest of him and that I can do better and find another boyfriend who is just like him (personality, great finances, etc.), but without the disability. They keep asking me to find someone else who is able-bodied and say that I am rushing things by choosing to settle with him.”
She happens to be the only child in her family, and her family completely and utterly refuses to meet her boyfriend in real life.
Instead, they’re happy to sit and make nasty remarks about her boyfriend from the sidelines since they have made no effort to even get to know him.
When she does bring up her boyfriend, her family will say that if she gets married one day, it needs to be to a man who can climb up on a ladder and patch a leak in her roof.
They’ll say that she really needs a man who can drive her car if she happens to be exhausted. They’ll tell her that her boyfriend is selfish for being disabled and will put his wants and needs above her own.
VadimGuzhva – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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The thing is, though, her boyfriend is truly lovely, and he cares so much about her feelings and her needs. The comments her family makes about her boyfriend couldn’t be further from the truth, and the only reason they despise him so much is because of his disability.
“My parents also think I am going to be locked in as his caregiver despite me telling them how my BF is very independent and hires his own caregivers,” she said.
“They think as soon as I move in/advance the relationship, he will force me to be his caregiver. I don’t know how or why they keep saying all these disparaging things without having met him and admitting that they have never interacted this closely with anyone with a disability before. I tried sharing videos like Cole and Charisma, etc., to show them life is still fairly normal. They came back with snide comments about how Cole & Charisma are YouTubers who are looking for attention, and their lives seem boring.”
Right now, she lives at home with her family, and she has since she graduated from college. She and her boyfriend both make really good money at their jobs, and so she feels it’s time to fly the nest.
Her family is vehemently opposed to her leaving home, and while she loves her mom and dad, she just can’t deal with all of their negativity about her boyfriend. It’s anxiety-inducing for her to constantly hear the same terrible things from them, and she’s sick of it.
“I am tired of hearing them say I can do better and need to find a new boyfriend,” she continued.
“My parents said my “running off” and continuing the relationship with my BF is hugely disrespectful to them and for everything they did to raise me. They say I am being ungrateful and foolish for not listening to their advice (given they have more life experience) and bring up a slew of my past history of how “great” things were when I listened to them (e.g., went into the career field they suggested, did the hobbies they suggested).”
She’s left wondering what you would do if you were in her situation.
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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